Alexandra Vaillancourt
Dateline Boston — One of my favorite things to do is watch home buying and decorating shows. They’re addicting and annoying at the same time. All over the United States, couples search for a home where they can entertain, take baths, and have granite countertops. The couples often want different things, be it budget, space, or a man cave. Call me sexist, but in a male and female couple, the woman usually gets her way. I feel sorry for the husbands who exclaim dejectedly, “Well, happy wife, happy life, right?” as the wife who “won” beams with pride.
If you want to ratchet up the irksome factor a bit, see the international version of a home buying show. I just watched an episode of a woman from Florida who married a man from England after they met in South Korea, teaching English. At first, they were going to live in the states, but they had to move to England because of his visa.
They had a budget of $900 per month. She wanted to live in the country. He wanted to live closer to the city for his job. She wanted a bathtub and a big kitchen. I know from watching these shows that giant kitchens aren’t a thing in other countries, unless you’ve got tons of dough.
They saw an apartment for $900 that was nice, clean, but had small rooms and no character. The husband liked it. Close to work, it was what he expected for their budget. The wife described it as a box, not a home.
The next house they saw was way out in the country, and had big rooms, a bathtub, and character. It was $1100 per month. Of course, the wife loved it. The husband was very hesitant because of the price and time it would take to commute to work.
Is This Best for Both?
House No. 3 combined both desires, as is the formula for this show. They saw a house that had character and was close to work. The dealbreaker for the wife? It didn’t have a bathtub. The look on the realtor’s face when the wife complained was priceless.
It’s always nerve wracking to see which house the couple is going to choose. Will the wife get her way? Will the husband get the commute he wants? Is a bathtub really that big a deal? Guess what? The woman got her big house in the country, with a bathtub. I felt so sorry for the husband as he told the camera, “Yeah, it’s actually not that far of a commute, and as long as she’s happy…” Gah! I found myself wishing the pipes would freeze their first winter. What ever happened to compromise? Taking your partner’s needs into consideration? That guy now has to bust his butt for 200 extra dollars a month so his wife, who has no job, can be happy in their country bathtub?
Husband and I have lived in two apartments together, and we’ve looked at about five total. We have the same taste. I tend to fall in love with every apartment I see. Husband has to rein me in so I won’t say yes to the first one we see. It works.
I have lived in a lot of different situations. My philosophy is, “Wherever I lay my hat, that’s my home.” When I lived in Japan, I moved into a furnished house. There wasn’t a small table in the living room, so I decorated a cardboard box and made that my table. I didn’t expect to have the same things in Japan that I did in America. I was grateful for the things I did have!
I once lived in a studio apartment for seven years without an oven. Our last apartment didn’t have a bathtub, so I didn’t take a bath for three years. The apartment we’re in now is a third floor walk-up, which is a pain for doing laundry in the basement. You know what? I have an oven! We have a bathtub! We have a washer and dryer in the building! Our apartment comes with a parking space, which is rare in our neighborhood. I am thankful.
Maybe I shouldn’t watch home buying shows. I end up getting frustrated at the self-centered couples who can’t seem to agree. Then again, each time I watch, I think of Husband and how grateful I am to have him. I think I’ll go write in my gratitude journal. And then I’ll take a bath.
Ms. Vaillancourt may be contacted at snobbyblog@gmail.com