Two f***** dollars is the price for reserving a seat at the movies.

Who would not want to pay a measly extra two dollars for a reserved seat?

Okay, I hear you.  You say, “I would feel uncomfortable if I paid for a reserved seat, and then found that the theatre was mostly empty when I got there.”

I say, “You will have paid for peace of mind.  Now enjoy the show.”

You say, “Why not get to the theatre early to buy your tickets?

I say, “For just two dollars, why do we have to get to the theater early?  With your reserved seats you can get there any time you want.”

You say, “Why should I pay an extra two dollars per ticket?”

I say, “You are not only a cheap person, but you are inconsistent.  You would spend two dollars more on an item at Ralph’ than go to the nearby Wal-Mart to save that money.”

You say, “We should check the online seating chart just prior to leaving for the theatre.  If the chart shows lots of seats available, we can drive there and have a good chance to get in. If the chart shows few seats available, then we can reserve them.”

I say, “If the chart shows lots of seats available, they may not be available for much longer.  That’s the chance you take.  If the chart shows just a few seats left, duh. Why didn’t you reserve your favorite seats earlier?  Why accept some non-preferred seats?”

Can you tell that I am furious?

Why am I furious?

Because two dollars will not break the bank. Because it is worth much more than two dollars to me to relax, and not have to be concerned at all about getting the seats I want.

Will I reject you if you do not want to get reserved seats?  Yes, I will.

And I will not feel guilty for rejecting you.

There.  I feel a lot better now.

Mr. Ebsen may be contacted at robertebsen51@gmail.com