As a lifelong pigeon for fairy tales, both as a listener and spinner, Jarring Jarrett Bell, by no coincidence, has been running up mileage as a spinner.
As a recently converted race-centrist black man, Jarring tells race-based stories, fatuous and otherwise, to readers of the far left USA Today.
Sports and the rest of America are racist, Jarring contends.
For months, Jarring has been the principal PR fop for Colin (I Am a Troublemaker) Kaepernick.
Colin is the dopey pedestrian millionaire quarterback who was chosen to be the latest Face of America Accuser of Alleged Racist Police Brutality.
Starved for attention after losing his starting job, Kaepernick, following a script scrupulously, started taking a knee during the pre-game national anthem to protest what he said was police brutality against black men.
By this season, Kaepernickism had reached epidemic status.
Challenged, Kaepernick had no data. He was just doing what he had been told to do.
Eager to stir the leftist-controlled race pot with his prickly knife, Jarring read with a bulging smile about Kaepernick.
Cozying up to his fellow racist, sportswriter Jarring was an ideal watercarrier.
The stove began to overheat when Kaepernick left the San Francisco 49ers in a snit after last season.
His talent deficiency had kept him on the bench.
Less than gifted above and below his shoulders, Kaepernick’s handlers assured him NFL owners would rush to sign a dim racist brat.
Since, however, despite Jarring’s stream of glowing updates about him, Kaepernick is suffering from severe stunnism.
NFL owners want nothing to do with the racist punk.
Learning a new term from his leftist sponsors, Kaepernick filed a grievance the other day, charging some or all NFL owners are colluding not to sign him just because he is a political racist brat, an old-fashioned liability.
Predictably sympathetic, Jarring concurs that collusion – not Collie’s incurable lunacy – has caused none of the 32 teams to sign the punk.
“It’s just too weird,” wrote Jarring yesterday, “to think that over the years, players with domestic assault issues, DUIs and even a dogfighting conviction, were granted fresh opportunities. But the man launching a second protest can’t catch a break.”