Dateline Boston — The other day I went into a new store that has opened in our neighborhood. A kitchen/housewares type of store. The products look like something that might have come out of your grandmother’s kitchen. Only they are new, and a hundred times the price Grandma would have paid. Bread boards, rolling pins, cast iron pans (these come with fancy handles), and glass jars of soap. A dear friend bought a bottle of soap. I think it cost $30. The idea is you are supposed to bring the container back and refill it with the soap. It’s environmental! There are various scented candles, sprays, and soaps with which you can adorn your apartment in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. I mean, Boston. Or anywhere. This store is a Hipster’s dream.
Ah, the Hipster. I’m not sure if it’s my age or what. For some reason, the Hipster movement really irks me. The look of the male Hipster, with the flannel shirt, full mustache and beard, stylish mop of hair (long on the top, short on the sides), pegged pants…it’s such a look. I was there for the Preppies, the Valley Girls, the Punk Rockers and the Hip Hoppers. Those styles never bothered me. The Hipster movement has an air of pretentiousness about it.
Beer, Uh, in a Bag
At that home store, a male employee was walking around assisting people. He had the look down cold. To top it off, he was drinking with a straw from a Mason jar. I am not kidding! He just looked like a walking stereotype. I couldn’t take him seriously. One customer, a woman in her 30s, was was showing off the store to her mother, with her young daughter in tow. She took a bottle of spray off the shelf, read the label and asked her daughter in all seriousness, “Look! Do you want to smell like a…(reads label) log cabin?” The girl shook her head aggressively. I laughed out loud and got a dirty look. People are falling for this crap hook, line and sinker.
Back when I grew up in Brooklyn, you drank a 40-ounce bottle of beer out of a paper bag. Now it’s microbrew. Rents are sky high. People who have lived in certain neighborhoods are being squeezed out. I feel like a grumpy old man when I think, “If they would just shave their faces, their hair looks so good!”
When I was in high school, I never belonged to a particular group. I floated among the popular kids, the jocks, the druggies and the nerds. If I wanted to dress punk for a day, I did. The next day, Valley Girl. I guess that’s one reason why I’m not into a style that is so pigeon-holed. Get rid of the man bun and the thick black-rimmed glasses! You don’t need to wear a scarf in summertime! There are no lumberjacks in Brooklyn!
The good news is, I know that this is a fad. Soon it will be gone. Maybe I’ll bring on the next style—Nanny Comfort Chic. Every day you wear a pair of jeans you’ve owned for at least five years. Throw on a stained sweater and clogs that you can put on and take off in two seconds. When you want to dress up, throw on that sweatshirt dress and an extra coat of tinted lip balm. It’ll be all the rage — never in style, never out.
Ms. Vaillancourt may be contacted at snobbyblog@gmail.com
Your Jealous!!!!