Home OP-ED She Asks for Change, and Then She Rejects It

She Asks for Change, and Then She Rejects It

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As a clinical hypnotherapist, I pride myself on being available to a client’s request for help. I have taken calls as late as midnight.  I answer on Saturdays and Sundays. I try to be helpful, but sometimes helpful does not work.

Returning from a movie yesterday, I was relaxed. Noticing a voicemail, I called.

The woman went into a tirade about how she was nervous, anxious, afraid of an image in her head that would not go away. This was affecting her daily attitude, work and relationships. She was desperate.

She was seeing a psychiatrist who had given her medication to deal with her anxiety. He also was hypnotizing her. I asked how. He has her lie down, close her eyes and he talks to her. She claims no benefit from her sessions.

I remembered something my mother had told me: If you want to buy a watch, buy a watch. If you buy a watch encrusted with diamonds, you are paying for the diamonds. The watch may not be mechanically sound.

If you want psychiatry, go to a psychiatrist. If you want hypnosis, go to a hypnotist.

She talked half an hour. She had no money, did not know how to stop her anxiety and was continually asking me to make decisions about her treatment. This I would not do.

I offered to hypnotize her to calm down. She was responding well when she suddenly opened her eyes. She said she did not want to do this now. I spent over trying to help her. Finally she hung up without even a thank you for the free time.

Her situation reminded me of a client  several years ago. A doctor had referred a patient to me because his methods were not working.

I spent an hour with the doctor’s patient. At the end, the staff at the doctor’s office told me that they never had seen this patient as pain free and happy. She immediately went in to see the doctor. When she emerged, she was as unhappy as before I hypnotized her. Why?

Homeostasis is an innate desire for the body and the mind to remain the same. If you are a negative person you are going to be more comfortable in that negative place. Once you have experienced positivity, it is hard to maintain it because the body and the mind try to go back to the negative way.

And so for this doctor’s patient, she gained the benefit initially but once she saw the doctor, her subconscious programming immediately reverted to the behaviors the doctor was expecting to see. She psyched herself out of her beneficial change.

Creating change can be hard. Remaining open to the change and recognizing when you are slipping back into your old negative behaviors is the key. When you want to change, act as if you already have gained the change you want. Be open to new thinking patterns that will steer you where you want to be.

For this lady, life is going to be tough  until she realizes that she appears to be far more comfortable with her negative behaviors.

Do not hesitate to contact me by telephone, 310.204.3321, or by email at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net. See my website at www.hypnotherapy4you.net

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