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Sad Memories and Happiness Compete for Primacy

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Photo: Maliz Ong / publicdomainpictures.net

Third in a series. 

Re: “When Joy and Anguish of Calendar Dates Clash”

Every year, when the 30th of the month of Av and the beginning of September approaches, as soon as the curtain of sorrow falls down in my heart, I see Angel Liana, my younger daughter. She is immediately pulling up the curtain, showing me the bright sun that shines in my life.

As time passes I discover new ideas and meanings. True, we are born to die, some early, some late. This is G-d’s domain; we have no power over, nor are we able to comprehend it thoroughly. So I often go back and think over the events and numbers, and I find new meanings. As I was writing about the meaning of Av, I learned something new that I came across in a Chabad website; “On the other hand, it also incorporates a ‘high point’ — the 15th of Av, a day designated for finding one’s predestined soul mate, is considered one of the happiest days on the Jewish calendar.”

Now I understand why, in our two events, Av 30th has incorporated two different dates and years. Its meaning comes from the meaning of Av — “we keep our hope that our Father in heaven is there to comfort and console us.” In reality, the 30th of Av has become the symbol of comfort and consolation to us.

By many coincidences and events, I have learned that neither G-d nor Liana wants us to remain sad. We have two happy events mixed with Av 30th. It also demonstrates the love, the bond and the union that Liana has with us.

When Mabelle started working at the hospital years ago, on her first day, the first patient that was brought to the hospital, was an 18-year-old boy. He had almost the same type of accident and fate as Liana.

Mabelle rarely talks about her work or patients, only when an 18-year-old is admitted as a patient. She will just say: “Today we operated on an 18- year-old patient!” I understand what she means. I know that she will go out of her way to help and save his/her life.

The Hippocratic Oath of the traditional ethical oaths for medical practitioners is not as strong as the reminder of Sept. 1st and the number 18 to Mabelle.

She has tasted the pain of loss then, and the joy of saving lives now. She doesn’t want anyone else to taste the pain!

She has an amazing work ethic that goes beyond words and “oaths.” She works hard and for long hours. I tease her. I say that she should not anger the “Angel of Death” because he has to fulfill the orders too!

But she always answers: “I will not let anyone die under my care!”

As a mother, I just wish that at least she would take care of herself, only for 10 percent of her time.

My gift to her for this year is the following words from our Sages, hoping that she will apply them:

“If I am not for me, who will be?
If I am for myself alone, what am I?
And if not now, when?”

Happy Birthday, Mabelle, wishing you good health, happiness and strength.

Happy Anniversary, Ranika and Ruben, wishing you and your family all the best of health and happiness.

Liana, may your memory be a blessing to all, as it has been since your physical departure.

Dr. Rosemary Hartounian Cohen, who lives in the Fairfax District, received her Ph.D in sociology from the Sorbonne in Paris. She lived in two other countries before moving, with her husband and four children, to Los Angeles in 1984. She has published four books in America. Since 1985, she has operated Atelier de Paris, an international art business, on Robertson Boulevard. Her email address is Rosemary@atelierdeparis.com

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