My 91-year-old aunt announced last evening at dinner that, standing in solidarity with Jada Pinkett-Smith and “Lee Spikes,” she, too, will boycott the Oscars on Feb. 28. It scarcely is worth mentioning that Aunt Esther, in the spirit of fan loyalty, later was overheard inquiring, “Is Jada a man or a woman?”
Hollywood racists have been all atwitter ever since a clerk noticed that none of this year’s Oscar acting or Best Film nominees is black. Most nominees, horrors, are male. Viewed through the pince-nez glasses of bigots, they are white, too.
Quick, someone dial Sherwin-Williams. We have a color-coding crisis.
Sadly, liberals truly believe this.
Bulletin for Hollywood liberals:
- I never have met or heard of a black rabbi.
- There are no black members of my Orthodox community.
- There never has been a black pope.
In view of this alarming cultural imbalance, I probably should abandon my Judaism. I could track down a yahoo religion that serves equal portions of yellows, whites, blacks, reds, gays, transgenders and normal black, white and brown persons.
Hopefully the leader of our diverse new community will be a cross-dressing son of transgendered bisexual parents who were kidnapped by Chinese as children, and raised as Muslims by an unmarried former priest and defrocked nun living in sin.
To employ a superfluous phrase, liberal Hollywood racists are complaining that the lack of diversity among Oscar nominees is stifling.
This is how liberal racists think. They only circulate among each other.
Why don’t the liberal racists wring their pampered hands about the virtual 100 percent absence of political diversity in Hollywood? Normal black, white and brown Hollywooders must conceal their political identities as conservatives from their liberal betters. Otherwise, they will not work.
That is the real crime, not touchy-feely drummed-up racism.
Hollywood Conservatives include:
Clint Eastwood
James Caan
James Earl Jones
Mel Gibson
Jerry Bruckheimer
Vince Vaughn
Tom Selleck
James Woods
Owen Wilson
Jon Voight
Kurt Russell
Kid Rock
Dennis Quaid
Tim Allen
Jessica Simpson
Mickey Rourke
Vincent Gallo
Robert Duvall
Gene Simmons
Dwayne Johnson
LL Cool J
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Sylvester Stallone
Gary Sinise
Bruce Willis
Adam Sandler
Chuck Norris
Shannen Doherty
Heather Lockyear
Robert Downey Jr.
Melissa Joan Hart
Kelsey Grammer
Kristin Chenoweth
Jaclyn Smith
Tony Danza
Victoria Jackson
Dennis Miller
Rob Schneider
And on it goes….
All out and proud.
It’s OK you don’t need to worry about all these famous rich people Ari.
No!!!! Adam Sandler’s conservative!
My heart is broken!!
I like SW7689 Row House Tan by Sherwin-Williams. It has a nice eclectic mix to it.
I’m so confused by your constant criticism. Your article “29 and Beautiful” (which conveniently doesn’t allow for comments) is filled with hypocritical judgment. As you criticize Hollywood for it’s a “color coding crisis” in this article, you ironically place importance in superficial aesthetics in the next breath. Your second “sentence” being “Gorgeous.” in your article about Brittany Maynard is completely irrelevant. What significance is Mrs. Maynard’s beauty to her struggle and death? It seems to me that what is on the inside of a person or their skill set or their soul, has less significance to you than outward appearance.
Furthermore, how can you in good conscience describe Brittany as “horrendously disappointing”? You don’t even know her. Do you think she really wants to end her life? Yes you are entitled to your opinion on how you would like to die. But, until you have walked in someone’s exact path, your criticisms are dangerous and unethical. If you are truly religious and a woman of faith, wouldn’t you know that “God” is to be the judge, not you.