[Editor’s Note: No one ever will have to ask me again why I am so proud of my brilliant stepdaughter.]
I am now a registered nurse. I graduated the nursing program at Mt. Hood Community College in Gresham, OR, on March 18.
I just passed my state board licensing exam on Monday.
I want more than anything to say these words to my mother and watch her face light up with joy, as I know it would.
But I can’t.
She left this place all too soon last August when I was still in the thick of the most difficult term in nursing school.
In June of 2015, I was visiting with her and I told her I only hoped that she would make it long enough to see me graduate.
She agreed.
She added she wanted to see who would become the next president.
When I came to Los Angeles to see her after we all decided it was time for hospice, I walked into her hospital room.
She looked up at me with delight.
She said to me, “Oh, Sanda. I’m sorry I didn’t make it to see you graduate. I really wanted to see that.”
And with her finger pointed at me and with a stern and determined tone of voice, she said, “But you get it!”
Well, Mom, I got it.
Thinking of her the entire time.
When I passed my last test in school, I cried the entire way home.
When I placed a nasogastric tube in a real patient for the first time, I cried the entire way home.
I wanted nothing more than to share all of my nursing experiences with her.
I so looked forward to having a different kind of bond with her. One that was going to guide me on my career path. Maybe she would even learn something from me.
She gave me so much wisdom and strength to make it through life.
I always hear her telling me, “You have to know how to take care of yourself in life because your parents won’t always be here.”
I did it.
I can now march forward on a path following in her footsteps, caring for people as she did.
The hospice experience I had with her inspired me to consider hospice nursing.
I also have interest in mental health, just like my mom. I do not know exactly what type of nurse I would like to be.
I just want my mom beside me, hanging over my shoulder as I walk this path.
I know she is watching. I am doing exactly what she wanted me to do, moving forward with my life.
“You have to live your life. You have to go on living without me.”
I love you, Mom
Nurse Sanda may be contacted at samismama@gmail.com
