Barely in time for an Oscar nomination, President Obama delivered one of his phoniest speeches this morning, crying on cue for the first time for white children after practicing in front of a mirror for three hours last evening.
The pharaoh of fakery smiled almost giddily afterward that he had pulled off one of his most enduring stunts.
All that was missing was Cecil B. DeMille shouting “Cut!” when Swishy milked his exhausted tear ducts for their final drop.
Away from the fawning crowd of stool pigeon “journalists,” including one who murmured “We love you, Mr. President,” Swish whispered to an aide, “I was even more impressive than last night.”
Swishy’s scripted 36-minute dramatic rant against individual freedoms in the name of “gun violence” had been rehearsed for days. A senior deputy said the president never has been even mildly dissatisfied with any of his heavily practiced, Oscar-worthy sympathy appearances.
A staple of Mr. Obama’s periodic adventures into animalistic narcissism always involves surrounding him with victims, in this case families who lost loved ones to gun violence. He sniffles, wipes his nose on a sleeve, throws back his head and bellows, masculinely, “I am Joan Crawford.”
