I felt the Bern last evening.
B. Sanders, who resembles a lightweight version of my milkman, urged the four Americans who have criticized Hillary Kardashian’s email hi-jinx to back off so that he and his fellow fleet-minded presidential candidates could concentrate on serious stuff, like Harry Pottery’s climate change and Alice in Wonderland’s fairy dust.
It was the 100th time since Monday that five fairies have been on the stage at the same time in Las Vegas.
This seems to happen every time I look in on a meeting of Democrats, whether in Culver City or Las Vegas, site of last night’s Democratic “debate.”
“Hillary and a Bag of Rocks,” was the way one smart person characterized the evening.
If you had tossed Hillary Kardashian and the four odd fellows she brought with her into a downtown drunk tank, nobody would have known the difference.
S(l)ickness in a Pants Suit, Ms. Kardashian, fresh from her fourth facelift since 2001, has been sliding from one opposing policy position to another so frequently the last six months that she could not afford to loosen her death grip on both sides of the podium. Otherwise, she would have fallen onto her proboscis, and her still-drying skin would have fallen off.
Martin O’Malley, celebrating his surge to 2 percent in the latest poll of his family, bragged that his obviously admirably disciplined fellow Dems did not try to emulate the barely potty-trained Republican candidates who deal in racism, sexism and darned near bigoted talk.
At the end of the night that she won, Hillary Kardashian approached Mr. O’Malley and announced that in recognition of the originality of his criticism, she was sprinkling him with fairy dust.
With that, Ms. Kardashian doffed her Tinker Bell shoes, put her clodhopperes back on and left with more of a manly stride than any of the he or she men in the room.
