My essays usually are about things I enjoy doing. The thing I enjoyed doing in this essay occurred after hours of discomfort.
Spoiler Alert: You may not want to read this. It is about my bout with constipation.
After trying Pepto-Bismol to stop two days and nights of stomach flu diarrhea, I turned to Imodium. That stopped it quickly. The problem was that it also stopped me up. Today, the fifth day of constipation, was almost unbearable. It felt like I needed to go, but I couldn’t
I decided to consult the local Rite-Aid pharmacist. For almost immediate relief, she said I needed the Fleet Enema. It would work in about one hour. I bought a two-pack.
I carefully read the directions and warnings. I mustered my courage, assumed the position, inserted, and squeezed. On the carton it said results were usually achieved in 1 to 2 minutes, but that if no fluids came out in 30 minutes, call a doctor promptly because you could be dehydrated.
Forty-five minutes and two squeezed out bottles later, I was contemplating asking my wife to drive me to emergency. Nothing had happened except that I was in a state of great discomfort.
It was then that I remembered the pharmacist’s angelic words, “Results in an hour.” Sure enough, after about 55 minutes, the barricades began to crumble.
It was the worst of times, followed by the best of times. I thanked God several times, and then I phoned the pharmacist to thank her for her words.
BTW, if there IS a next time, I will likely try the 6-hour-to-results drink, instead of the one-hour buckin’ bronco enema ride.
Assuming that you are still reading this, here are my words of wisdom:
Don’t take product labels literally. Ask a pharmacist. I imagine a pharmacist might have told me to wait awhile after the first larger dose of Imodium, to give it a chance to work.
Instead, I followed the label and gave three or four subsequent doses with subsequent bouts of diarrhea. That’s what made it so hard for me (pun intended).
Feel good!
Mr. Ebsen may be contacted at robertebsen@hotmail.com
