Home OP-ED Bully for You – and That Ain’t Funny

Bully for You – and That Ain’t Funny

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When-Girls-Bully
Bullying memories can last a lifetime

Dateline Boston — Ah, Facebook. It’s become my way of blogging. I post status updates and photos several times a day. I check to see what my friends are up to. I met my husband through Facebook, and I’ve made new friends and connected with old ones via this form of social media. A lot of people aren’t interested in face-to-face reunions anymore because with Facebook you feel you know what’s going on in their lives.

Some people don’t even want to reconnect online. A few days ago, a Facebook friend I grew up with made a group post in a private message. She said she thought she’d get us together, old friends.

I couldn’t believe it when I saw the name of the girl who bullied me for several years. I’ve been working on the story of being bullied for more than 15 years—it is such a harrowing tale, I haven’t gotten past more than an essay or two. My ears prick up whenever I read about forgiveness. It has taken me years to even consider forgiving this person. I’ve thought so much about this part of my life that it has started to lose its grip on me. I’m beginning to move past it.

Then comes this message. The original poster realized she should have asked me first, and told me so. She knew that sometimes we didn’t all get along, but she thought this person and I were friends. I told her it was okay. I wanted to see what the bully would do. Would she reconnect and ask what I’ve been doing all these years? Would she apologize? Would she laugh it off? Would she remember?

A day later, I got my answer. She left the group. That told me all I needed to know. Maybe now I’ll finish my book, or forgive her. Or maybe, like her, I will do nothing at all.

Ms. Vaillancourt may be contacted at snobbyblog@gmail.com

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