First of two parts.
[Editor’s Note: Gene and Miriam Greenberg are one of the Orthodox Jewish community’s favorite couples, especially in Pico-Robertson and the Westside. Here is Mrs. Greenberg’s splendid talk on their 60th wedding anniversary last January.]
I met Gene when I was 16 and 2 months. We got married when I was 18 and 3 months. I knew nothing. I was capable, but I was immature. I didn’t come from an Orthodox home, so there were no kallah (wife) classes. I truly learned on the job.
I didn’t learn about two people making a new entity until I had been married many years and was already very focused on being my own person.
So how to keep that and make my marriage really important.
When I got involved with TLC, I heard Simi Yellen and Carol Bess and Bella Gottesman and Rabbi Gradon talk about proper attitudes towards marriage.
But, really, it was too late for me. This merging of two individuals into a single unit has been beyond me. The best I could do is two individuals in partnership resulting in a marriage. So that is the place I am coming from in this talk. This marriage is a miracle in so many ways, and I am incredibly grateful to be where I am.
Really, my sister-in-law should be giving this talk. She truly values marriage and husbands. She knows what it is like to lose a husband, to be alone. She has perspective. I am a spoiled brat, a princess. I always think I am right. I am intolerant, judgmental, impatient and emotional. I have to have things exactly my own way.
Once I told Dr. Fox that I would do such much better if I didn’t have all these crazy people in my life. He said, “Sorry. You are in the wrong religion. No sitting on mountain tops contemplating life. This is our work – to figure out how to be in relationships.”
When I am upset, I am really upset. I figure the relationship is over, and I am out of here. Then I think about how damaging that would be for all the people involved, and I wouldn’t necessarily be improving my situation because I would be taking me with me wherever I would go. Would the damage really be worth it? This marriage is really a testimony to my husband, who believes that one important rule is always thinking of the other person first. Not me – I am always thinking of me first.
(To be continued)
Mrs. Greenberg may be contacted at marilynjoygreenberg@gmail.com
