With the 15th observance of the Sept. 11 Muslim terrorist attacks against the Twin Towers coming up Sunday morning at 6:55 at all three Culver City Fire Stations, it is fitting that Colin Kaepernick, a fading quarterback, is the hottest media poster boy of the hour.
Schooled in the uniquely liberal art of timing, the shrewd Colin and his Muslim girlfriend did not conclude that America was a racist country until after he had signed a $126 million contract, 50 percent of which is guaranteed. Now there is an American entrepreneur-in-training.
As the son of a white parent and a black parent, Colin may be pardoned for his confusion.
He is unclear whether the San Francisco 49ers awarded him the lofty loot because he is capitalizing on white privilege or because 50 percent of his ancestors may have been slaves. The other 50 percent may have been slave traders.
Do you take a coloring book to a family reunion?
As a loyal liberal, Colin knows the United States is a nastily racist society. He is confused, though.
At his first protest of our National Anthem, Colin and his overweight ‘do sat on the 49ers’ bench. For last week’s game, Colin went to one knee, reducing his options for this week.
Obviously conflicted until he settles on a permanent stance, Colin may try lying (down)m hoping a stray groundskeeper does not mow his ‘do into a crewcut.
After a brief fling at stardom in the NFL, Colin is not sure whether the black half of him should protest or the white half should deny racism exists.
Colin is reduced to fighting with one hand. The other is holding onto his bulging wallet.
If you are half black and half white and you have to decide which side of the line you are on, the rest of us see this putative conflict far more clearly. It is black and white.
This is perhaps the most idiotic thing written in response to Kaepernick’s protest. I refer to it as a thing, because I’m not sure what else to label it.
It’s not an article. It’s not an argument. It’s not even a coherent thought.
The author begins by invoking 9/11. Somehow, the anniversary of the horrific incident makes a fitting backdrop for the debate surrounding Mr. Kaepernick.
Granted, the author never explains why it’s fitting or even attempts to explain the point. I can only gather that he’s trying to make some sort of nebulous connection between not standing for the national anthem and supporting terrorism, which is an insane stretch of logic by anyone’s standards.
There’s also a potshot about his aging skills as a quarterback as if that is an anyway relevant to the issue. Oh, wait. Never mind. I see what the author wants to do. He wants us to think that Kaepernick is just chasing attention because he knows his days on the field are numbered.
However, the author doesn’t argue that explicitly because he seems to prefer passive-aggressive accusations camouflaged by bad writing, but whatever.
The piece moves into some sort of babbling about timing and being liberal while noting that Kaepernick’s girlfriend is Muslim. Eeks! Not that.
It’s as if the author wants us to realize that even worse than failing to stand for the national anthem is the fact that this traitor is dating an Islamic woman. But, again, Noonan can’t just come out and say that. He just wants to imply it; I’m guessing it’s because he doesn’t want to sound like an outright racist and a bigot. He just wants you to connect those dots for yourself. Well, sorry, but we see through your poorly-veiled hate.
Next we tackle the race of Mr. Kaepernick’s parents. Again, what’s the relevance? What’s the argument? None. Nearly halfway through the piece and we have yet to see anything resembling a coherent point. Yet, the author has the audacity to speak about confusion. How rich.
We move into more incoherent rambling about NFL contracts and slavery. Perhaps, Mr. Noonan just wants to sound risqué because he knows anger sells. Perhaps, he’s just a dolt with an undeserved platform. I’m leaning to the latter.
Okay, after reading that shameful coloring book line, there’s no leaning. Noonan is definitely a dolt with an undeserved platform. He’s also a racist and can shove that coloring book someplace uncomfortable. Personally, I’m more surprised that Culver City publishes op-eds that would appeal to the white supremacist crowd. I know we’re gentrified here, but Jesus.
Now that’s he gone full-blown racist, then we move on to critiquing Kaepernick stance in one of the most superficial and feckless arguments I’ve ever heard. “Look, he’s kneeling. He’s sitting. He’s kneeling. He’s sitting. He can’t make up his mind! Clearly, this is a man without resolve, and if we can’t trust him to make up his mind about how to sit or kneel, then how can we trust his conviction about the bigger issue. This is a joke protest.” Yeah, that makes sense. That’s what’s really at issue here — whether or not he sat down or took a knee. I can’t even fathom the mind that thought this was somehow relevant or insightful.
Next we get more racist comments; this time about his hair or, as Noonan likes to call it, his ‘do. We can all guess how that word would sounding coming out of Noonan’s mouth if he was reading this. He’d pronounce it with contempt. He’d say ‘do the way a racist would mock the accent of those from inner cities or poor neighborhoods. He’d say it with all the caricature of any good racist stereotype, and he’d be proud. That’s the kind of man Noonan is. His writing lets us know at least that much.
Finally, this piece wraps up with some bizarre line about being half black and half white and the confusion that exists for an issue that is black and white. It’s clear that Mr. Noonan was hyped when he wrote this line. He probably gave himself a high five. It reads with the smug satisfaction of someone enjoying the self-masturbatory elation of their own cleverness.
There’s just one problem. It’s not clever. It’s not even cogent. It’s barely a sentence.
It’s just another gust of wind from an angry, racist individual that likes shouting nothing at nothing and pretending it’s journalism.