My wife will be going on a trip with a friend in a few weeks. I will have 10 quiet days to do special projects.

Thanks to a trip to Home Depot last week, and a trip to Costco this morning, I have great ideas.

The Barbecue and the Smoker

At Costco today I purchased reusable 100 percent non-stick grilling sheets.  No longer will I be scraping and cleaning the barbeque grill.  After I finish this essay, I will measure and cut a sheet from one of the three rolls that come in the package. Yes, I will search Amazon for a new barbeque grill.  After all, the new grill, always covered, should stay pristine for years to come.  I will do the same measuring and cutting for my smoker’s grilling sheets.

Smoker grills are newer. They will not need to be replaced.  Covering them with the new grilling sheets will obviate the unenviable task of removing the smoker grills, and scrubbing them clean in the kitchen sink.

Patio Paint

While at Home Depot, I asked an associate in the paint department why, after I painted my patio, it began to crack and chip a few months later.

Duh.

How did I know I needed to paint with a primer first? I am looking forward to a brand new-looking patio, which will hopefully last for years.

Who knows?

I may decide to get fancy and paint a Rio de Janeiro-like wavy pattern to challenge my artistic side.

Awning’s Mosquito-Net Enclosure

At Costco, seeing the open tent-like enclosures for the beach, I decided I could easily build a mosquito- and fly-proof enclosure around my patio awning.

Duh.

All I need to do is drape mosquito netting from the awnings periphery and secure it with several small pieces of Gorilla tape.  How fun it will be to eat and lounge outside without worrying about being swarmed or bitten by flying creatures.

Gardening with Impunity

At Costco, I purchased a UV Outback Hat.  It will protect my pre-cancer-prone facial skin from the sun’s rays while I tend to my plants.  It may look big and dorky, but no one will see it on me in the yard. Besides, who cares?

You might be wondering what do I do project-wise when my wife is home?

The answer is that I do projects when I can.  The difference seems to be that when the wife is away, I can leave projects in various stages of completion.

Do you know of any wives who will permit that to occur?  Wives are funny that way, huh?

Mr. Ebsen may be contacted at robertzebsen@gmail.com