Headaches my ancestors did not face in the 17th century:
- I am leaving the office early to go home and lay out multiple suits for the 22 million funerals the Bean Counters party says I will be attending after Obamacare mercifully is executed.
A caring man’s woes scarcely end there.
- With my couturier on vacation, another cloth challenge looms: What to wear to the first Indigenous Peoples Day parade, from Agoura Hills to Laguna Beach.
Before that massive migraine can be mediated, people of some color, people of little color and people of no color face two sterner tests:
- How to spell i-n-d-i-g-e-n-o-u-s
- How to define i-n-d-i-g-e-n-o-u-s
- Not to mention whether p-e-o-p-l-e-s should be punctuated
I read the other day that a smart judge ruled the owner of the NFL Washington Redskins may continue marketing Redskins, Redskins, Redskins. Somehow the Washington Indigenous Peoples does not resonate.
Heaven granted us the Bean Counters party as a worthy successor to Laugh-In.
As a politically correct prostitute, Los Angeles City Councilman Mitch (I Ain’t No Indian) O’Farrell, a proud Bean Counter, suggested replacing Columbus Day with Indigenous Peoples Day.
Now there is a man with a past but no future, a man with a mind on permanent pause, a man who believes CNN.
Only an Irishman who overdrinks, a politically correct prostitute, could own such an inane suggestion.
From the time you were born, could you ever have imagined yourself saying:
“C’mon, Murgatroyd, let’s go to the Indigenous Peoples parade.”
They used to throw a net over such loose minds before they committed harm.
If we can agree that Chris Columbus arrived in 1492, where have the social justice, equal-pay loons been for the last 525 years?
Isn’t it rich that Sen. Clammy Kammy Harris can walk around freely spewing the f-word, as if it were a religious term, but we cannot call Indians Indians?
There is a reported movement in Indigiana to change the state capital’s sobriquet to Indigianapolis.
We close with Irish Mitch’s justification for Indigo Mood Day:
To acknowledge the contributions of “indigenous, aboriginal and native people.”
If you will excuse me, I am going home to choose an appropriate costume for the first Los Angeles Aboriginal Day.