Congenitally insecure liberals are breathing rapidly and perspiring buckets as they struggle to clumsily make the  annually repackaged case that America is racist.

• Last summer, American cops hated blacks.
• The year before, all non-feminine Americans hated girls.
• The year before that, Americans hated gay couples trying to “marry.”
• A year earlier, the canard du jour was that America hated gays and massively deprived them of normal lives in the workplace, socially and in their bedrooms.

Democrats love to pour on pity so they will resemble a crowd of Florence Nightengales. (President Obama just asked who she was.)

When leftist hatemongers drained the bucket of phony victim groups, they turned to their second favorite pastime,  schlepping amorphous causes.

I give you climate change, which fewer than two liberals out of every 5,000 remotely can define and explain.

I give you gun control, which no living liberal has been capable of describing.

I give you the “women’s health” crowd. These largely anti-men-types believe they, instead of God, should determine which babies shall live and which should be killed.

I give you voter ID, next year’s hottest seller, when we will be told that every American except normal white men are in danger of being turned away at the polls for lack of acceptable identification.

Let us not overlook America’s most fashionable new vicar of victims, transgendered people.

There is believed to be a maximum average of 1½ transgendered men or women in every large city.

When all other distractions fail, I give you store-bought racism, whomever the steaming Group of the Moment is.

Today’s liberal pity parade features Muslims as the lucky false victims.

USA Today, the unofficial successor to Mad magazine, puffed, skidded, huffed and stuttered through its reliably weak main editorial this morning beneath the bogeyman headline “Anti-Muslim bigotry aids ISIL and violates American values.”

Whoopee.

With patented liberal vacuity and vagueness, the boys at USAT cited a whopping four alleged cases, doubtless the product of whole cloth since there were no names or identifying marks attached.

Not only were the USAT boys unable to produce even simplistic anecdotes, there was not even a sniffy whiff of data, not a line.

The editorial was written on second-hand meatpacking paper. You knew they lacked a non-laughable charge to make when the anti-traditional newspaper led off by commending President George W. Bush for his response to Sept. 11.

Horrors.

Unable to produce a seed of evidence of anti-Muslim rage, the best idea the I Wish Somebody Would Take Us Seriously boys at USAT could craft was a suggestion in the final paragraph that you nasty, racist, bigoted, non-liberal religious low-lives should leave your churches and “go to a mosque as President Bush did, and show the world what tolerance and unity look like.”

Pack your favorite sidearm, however, in case the next round of Muslim terrorists explodes in your face while you are hugging your new Islamic BFF.