Second of three parts.
Re: “A Bridge to My Grandchildren”
When my two granddaughters, who are 7 and 8 years old, visit me from New York, they ask stimulating questions and make amazing observations. They even educate me.
In the parent-child relationship, in addition to my own personal experience of taking care of our four children, I do not think it is right to take the entire credit of teaching the children.
I always wonder if we parents and teachers are the only ones who teach them.
I am aware that while taking care of the children, we learn a lot through and from them, too. It probably is a mutual learning process. Maybe that is one reason we bring children into this world. They learn and at the same time teach and help us to complete our knowledge!
In my childhood, especially in the Middle East, the children were treated as children!
Showing No Respect
That means “Too young to understand, may be stupid, or I am not sure what.” Anytime you would ask a child a question or to give an opinion, the adults would immediately give an order:
“Stop! Quiet! Shut up!”
Sometimes this would be accompanied by a little blow to the child’s head.
“You are a child,” he or she would be told. “Do not enter an adult’s conversation.” Or, “Go play with your friends outside.”
This continues differently when they grow. In some communities the parents, especially mothers, call their adult sons, “my child,” “my baby.”
I used to scold friends. “Your son is 70 years old,” I would say. “He is not a baby. He is a man. He has his own adult children.”
They would argue. “But he is and will stay my son, my baby for as long as I live!”
When my first child was born, somehow I understood that in many ways she was smart and equal to us. I treated her like an adult. Of course she had a good childhood.
I did not talk baby language to her. I never treated her as a baby. I was aware that she was not my possession. She was a gift to us. She was a small human being. She understood many things. And time proved that I was right.
In New York, I had a great and precious time with my granddaughters. I answered all of their questions. Meanwhile, I learned a lot from them as well.
Every time I see them, the subject of their main focus changes.
I remember in one of the visits, it was Annie, the stage play.
They already had seen the movie many times. They never had seen the play on Broadway. So I found both of them dressed up and singing like Annie.
Ellie was probably three years old. We were in the car, going to a museum. She sang the songs from Annie the entire time, so clear and well-tuned. It was amazing.
Both girls next were in love with “The Sound of Music.” Then came all the fairy tales, one after the other, and finally it was time for “Frozen.”
(To be continued)
Dr. Rosemary Hartounian Cohen, who lives in the Fairfax District, received her Ph.D in sociology from the Sorbonne in Paris. She lived in two other countries before moving, with her husband and four children, to Los Angeles in 1984. She has published four books in America. Since 1985, she has operated Atelier de Paris, an international art business, on Robertson Boulevard. Her email address is Rosemary@atelierdeparis.com
