Tell me this is a seductive girl you would love to meet tonight for dinner:
Clutching her aging feminine wiles in one hand, a crudely carved billy club in the other, hopelessly bitter sexist Robbie Abcarian spat out another screed against societal normalcy yesterday in the Los Angeles Times.
Happily married, angrily, to her unhinged temper for many years, Robbie and her broken-glass bitterness occasionally are allowed outdoors — to practice spewing.
As an extreme liberal, she is obligatorily single, obligatorily envious of all who are handsomer, younger, wealthier, smarter.
Vice President Mike Pence surpasses Raging Robbie in all four categories, and Resentful Robbie resents it.
Sounding like a girl who has been rejected a few times too many, this is why she petulantly spit on spotless Mr. Pence in her puerile essay.
For the backstory:
The reliably unreliable Washington Post reported last week that Mr. Pence, America’s first serious vice president in nine years, once had publicly remarked that as a practicing Christian, he never dines alone with women. Further, if alcohol is being served, he never attends events without his wife being present.
These two sterling statements of principle immediately set off feelings of envy among jealous single liberals.
They badly wish they had a god to believe in other than Obama’s congenital slipperiness, Michelle’s hourly hairstyle changes, Crooked Clinton’s emails and Susie Rice’s lifetime supply of truth serum.
Because of the prominence of their envy gene, liberals’ lone response is to mock when religious family people speak about their moral values.
Spitting snarky sarcastic insults throughout her ballast-starved diatribe, Robbie Rabble resolutely refused to retreat from making a mockery of mockery.
In her pretzel-shaped world of envy, the mismatched muddle-minded matron of monkey shines stuck out her scarred tongue at Mr. Pence’s traditional moral convictions. Envious liberals wish they had such a pole to hang their flag on.
In a successful attempt to prove how undisciplined her drought-ridden thinking apparatus is, Resentful Robbie rewarded all desperate men in the reading audience with a bulging hint in paragraph No. 14:
“I (am) a single woman.”
Go ahead. Faint in shock.