When Two Different Kinds of People Hook up

Nicholas PollakOP-ED

[img]560|left|Nicholas D. Pollak|remove link|no_popup[/img]I have had two new clients recently for whom control is a major issue. One individual must control everything at all times, including other drivers when driving on the freeway. As a result of his compulsion to control, he is exhibiting extreme symptoms of panic and anxiety.

The other person seeks control through his position as an accountant. For him, numbers are a way of making everything work out as he would like them to be.

This way, he was able to shield himself from the issues that were holding him back.

By ignoring them, they became an albatross around his neck. This created a depression. The numbers that previously had kept him optimistic, started to drastically change, not for the better. This made him more depressed. He lost hope.

Although this thinking has not brought on bankruptcy, his lifestyle has changed as one of the results of his divorce from his soon-to-be ex- wife, a typical a relationship tale.

Now It Is Too Late

The relationship might have been saved if only they had known what they now know.

His wife complained he was always working, hardly ever at home. When he was, and she was so glad he was home, she wanted to have sex. More often than not, he would say no, wounding her feelings. Unloved and unappreciated, she believed he no longer loved her..

He did not understand why she was complaining about him all the time. He worked longer hours to afford the expensive lifestyle and gifts he wanted her to have. He expressed love by buying his wife the things she said she wanted. His sex drive was different. He was comfortable with sex every three days, less than her.

One wants physical and tactile expressions of love while the other, a less physical and more emotionally detached relationship enhanced by material gifts. Neither expressions is right or wrong, only different. A couple would be wise to remember this.

Hypnotherapy is useful when it comes to situations like this. At least the Physical and Emotional theory, that opposites attract. Physicals are more outgoing. They love to experience the world through their bodies. Emotionals are more logical, more detached, preferring to experience both mentally and physically. They are protective of their bodies. They are opposites and they attract.

Hypnosis to the Rescue

Both have dominant and sub-dominant personalities. Here is where hypnosis is useful. I have a questionnaire which, when indicates the percentage of physical and emotional showing – which is dominant, which sub-dominant. This understanding, coupled with knowing which of your behaviors are physical and emotional, leaves both parties an understanding of what the traits are and how to deal with them.

As the couple applies this understanding, underpinned by the knowledge of how each communicates, helps to create a stronger relationship. Hypnosis further aids each person. The hypnotist must now help each to maintain his and her own individuality. Each must support the other to reach individual goals. It is vital to succeed as a person in your own right as well as part of a couple.

A productive, happy life requires two factors to maintain the right mental balance, enjoying work and enjoying social life. If either is out of balance, challenges likely will surface that detract from one’s pursuit of success, happiness and prosperity.

For many, our social lives are our spouses. Maintaining a good relationship with your spouse could be the most important key.

A Physical will be more damaged by a relationship issue than the Emotional. The Emotional has a better ability to compartmentalize. He stays more focused in times of difficulty. The Physical feels the other person’s pain in the Physical’s body, making it difficult to disassociate from one’s own painful personal issues.

Understanding the traits of a Physical and an Emotional helps you know yourself and what makes you tick as well as giving you an insight into the behaviors of others.

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me by telephone, 310.204.3321, or by email at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net. See my website at www.hypnotherapy4you.net