[img]96|left|Shachar||no_popup[/img]Dateline Jerusalem — On occasion I have been told I have a big head, but I am not really conceited. I have also been told that I am a fathead, but I am not really stubborn. I actually have a big, fat head, size-wise. Sometimes hats are too small or have to be stretched to fit properly. But today I found out that my head is larger than most of the Israeli adult male and female population.
Today I was issued a gas mask in case of emergency. What good is a mask against chemical and biological warfare without a body suit to go along with it? There are 4 sizes, one for infants, one for children, one for the majority of Israeli adults and one size for people with big, fat heads. That is what I was issued.
If the Shoe Fits…
The person issuing the gas mask looked at me (even before I gained weight, I had a round face) and was automatically going to give me the largest size, without even having me try it on. The conceited and stubborn me insisted on trying on the regular sized gas mask. It didn't fit. But the conceited and stubborn me also insisted on trying on the largest size to show it did not fit, either. According to the person issuing the mask, the largest size fit great.
How do they determine whether the fit is right? They cover up the air hole with their hand and if you choke or can't breathe, then the gas mask fits. I was able to say with bulging eyes “I can't breathe!” So, according to my logical thought process (taken from the great French philosopher Rene Descartes who said “I think, therefore I am”), if I could speak, therefore I could breathe. Ergo, the mask must not fit correctly. Of course I was told otherwise. But I am claustrophobic, and that is the reason I felt like I could not breathe. Not because the gas mask allegedly fit properly. It is like when I used to scuba dive and I was so claustrophobic with my wet suit and breathing gear, often I would use up more air than necessary.
In case of attack, I guess either I will have to carry this large gas mask wherever I go, so that it is handy in time of need, G-d forbid that there be such a time, or try and find it when the sirens go off. Considering my particular apartment is old and does not have a steel and concrete “safe room” built into it, I will have to go down four flights of stairs to the basement shelter of my building.
What logistics are involved? Depending on where you live in Israel, there is anywhere from 10 seconds to 3 minutes to reach a secure place. I figure it will probably take me 15 minutes just to find the mask and figure out how to put it on, find my shoes so I do not cut my feet on broken glass, and then make it down the flights of stairs to the shelter. If I am lucky, someone in the building will have a key to unlock the door of the shelter. But as you can see, by this time I am 12 to 15 minutes too late.
For many years people in Israel were issued gas masks as a precaution. So, it is not unusual for new ones to be issued to replace the old. Just as the Girl Scout motto is be prepared, so must that be Israel's motto. All the years living in California with its earthquakes made me prepare earthquake supplies. Now in Israel, I have the same supplies but call them by a new name.
L'hitraot. Shachar