[img]560|left|Nicholas D. Pollak||no_popup[/img]My daughter called me very early on a Sunday morning, crying into the phone. She complained of a severe earache and a nose that would not stop bleeding. Could we do anything? She was “freaking out” My wife and I went to her apartment and brought her to our house and from there to see a physician assistant at a local CVS Pharmacy.

The physician assistant looked in my daughter’s ear, winced and said she had a severe ear infection, which would take antibiotics to resolve. Luckily my daughter had a previous prescription for antibiotics still available at the pharmacy. Within 24 hours she was much better.

However, my daughter’s employer had told her that unless she brought a doctor’s note regarding her illness and time off, she would be fired. Unfortunately the physician assistant was not going to be available until the following Saturday, complicating the situation. So my daughter went to her regular doctor for a note that resolved the problem.

What really concerned me was the fact an employer has the right to tell an employee, “if you are sick but cannot prove it by a doctor’s note, you will be fired.”

Governing from Wrong Direction

This led me to realize that in the United States and elsewhere that motivation of their populations is governed by fear and intimidation rather than by positivity and motivation.

Remember how your parents would, “Do this or else”? I never found out what the “or else” was. I was scared, and that kept me in line.

We do not realize how what we say can affect not only ourselves but others we talk with. I have mentioned in other articles the importance of positive self-talk, such as changing “have-to” to “want.” “Have” is a chore word; “want” is a desire word. The person who has to go to work will respond differently from the person who wants to go to work.

How many times do we tell our children or others “don’t do this, or don’t do that” only to find that the person is doing what he/she just had been told not to do. The reason is, we have a tendency to remember the last thing a person said to us rather than the whole sentence.

Watch the Child Change

An example:

A child slams the door leaving the room. You call him back to say, “Don’t slam the door.” The child hears you, nods yes and leaves the room slamming the door. Why? What was the last thing you said? Take away the “don’t.” What is left? “Slam the door.”

Next time, in a similar situation try this: “As you leave, remember to close the door quietly.” You will be amazed. Your child will respond by closing the door quietly. Remember the endng words.

Another example:

“Don’t forget to pick up the dry cleaning on your way home.” The person hears the last part, “on your way home.” comes home without the dry cleaning. Why? The last thing the person heard was “Forget the dry cleaning.”

Next time say, “On your way home, remember to pick up the dry cleaning.” The dry cleaning will be picked up. A small change in sentence structure creates a huge difference in a person’s motivation and understanding.

The other day my wife and I were passing a bank, which had a sign, “Don’t forget to open a new savings account.” My wife, who knows people at the bank, told them the sign was negative and could be changed to “Remember to open a savings account today.”

A week later, to our surprise, the bank had changed the sign to read “Remember to open a savings account today.” We learned that after changing the sign, more people were opening savings accounts.

Rather than intimidating a person using negativity and the dreaded “or else,” choose words that motivate ultimately will lead to a more effective workplace with highly motivated employee. This is much preferable to producing begrudgingly from a fear base.

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me by telephone, 310.204.3321, or by email at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net. See my website at www.hypnotherapy4you.net