Several recent clients are having problems with their relationships. Mainly, they are out of a relationship and either want to go back to it or want to involve themselves in the same kind of destructive connection again.

Such clients turn out to be fairly high on the “physical” percentage, around 65 percent.

I will explain.

A physical is an outgoing person who enjoys being with people and thrives in any kind of sporting activity that involves others. Their priorities are always family first, team sports or activities second and work third. Although work is the lowest on their priority list, it does not mean that they don’t enjoy it. On the contrary. They are excellent in what they do, typically supervisors. They have a personality that draws people to them, and they love to help, to fix.

A physical tends to do things that push partners away. They don’t understand why it happens. A physical needs the touch and the intimacy of sex. Physicals only truly feel loved when being touched. This constant need causes friction in their relationships. Without exception, a physical always will attract the opposite.

Repeating Errors

The kind they attract are not people persons. Instead, they tend to observe at parties rather than to interact socially. Individual activities appeal, and they are not family oriented. Cool, calm, logical, often detached. Priorities are work No. 1, individual pastimes No. 2 and famly comes third.

In this world it always is opposites who attract. It is an immutable law of nature. If you think I am wrong, try this with two magnets.  When you try to put the plus and the plus together, the magnets repel. When you put the plus and the minus together, they attract, stick together. So it is in relationships. Unfortunately, though, those very opposites who attract also cause the breakups.

You can see that if a person who is dependent upon touch for her or his relationship validation is going to someone not touch-dependent. A classic fictional example would be the movie “Fatal Attraction.” The Glenn Close character would be the extreme of a physical whereas the Michael Douglas character would be the emotional male. They become involved and Douglas rejects Close, and their relationship intensely sours. Hell hath no fury like a male or female physical scorned.

Physicals do not take rejection well. Look for them to push their ex-partner to return to the relationship. They will do anything to accomplish that. If they fail, physicals will need months of internal anger, hurt, resentment and rejection aimed at their exes before being willing to try a new relationship.

The emotional, however, will not feel the same. Emotionals will not end a relationship unless they have another one to go into. This lessens the impact of a breakup. Emotional usually end relationships when their partners make too many physical attention demands  or when partners don’t understand emotionals love to work long hours. They do this to earn the money to buy expensive gifts for the ones they love. The more expensive the gift, the deeper the love.

The Abyss Grows Wider

Unfortunately, the physical wants his partner near and does not understand why the emotional wants to be away from home so much. They begin to feel unloved.

In addition the physical wants sex much more often than an emotional. The physical is always ready for sex and is usually ready with just a touch. The emotional, although willing to have sex often at the beginning of the relationship tends to cool over a three to four months period and generally prefers to have sex every three days. For the emotional they must have a mental image of what they are going to do before they do it or nothing will happen. Unlike the physical who is all touch, the emotional experiences sex mentally first then physically

Just from the sex aspect, you can see how this will play out. 

The physical wants sex. The emotional wants to work.

The physical thinks the emotional does not love him/her because the other person is away at work a lot. The emotional cannot understand why the physical will not understand why the emotional wants to work so much.  Arguing starts. Divorce happens. 

Every person wants to know why his/her relationship failed and wants to do better next time. Often that goal is unattainable because their behaviors are so deeply ingrained.

Hypnosis helps here because it explains the physical and emotional. Once you understand which parts of you are physical and which emotional, you come to terms with what you are. Next is the ability to project the behaviors you want. You begin to attract the kind of person who will be your opposite, who complements you and strengthens your weaknesses.

Remember that hypnosis helps to change the behaviors that you get to the behaviors you want.

Do not hesitate to contact me by telephone, 310.204.3321, or by email at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net. See my website at www.hypnotherapy4you.net