First, the bread. Have you ever tried squaw bread? Whole Foods sells it under the brand name “Sun Flour.” Its special characteristic is that it's not too soft. In fact, it's a bit chewy. It's dark bread made with wheat flour, molasses, oat bran, rye flour, and brown sugar, among other things. Ready. Okay, lay two slices of bread on a big plate.
Next, the mayo. Can you tell the difference between real mayo and the low-fat varieties? I choose the high-fat real thing. Take a teaspoon, fill it to almost heaping, and spread it on the first slice of bread. Now do the same with the second slice.
Next, the chips. A 99-cent bag of Lay's potato chips does the trick. Don't add them to the bread. They're for munching on in between luscious bites of your sandwich.
Don't hold the tomatoes. In fact, slice them medium thick, and pile them on the bread.
Crunchy lettuce piled on the tomatoes comes next.
Pour the soy milk into a glass and heat it in the microwave for 18 seconds — just long enough to take the chill off.
Ready for the second slice of bread? Okay. Lay it on the plate.
Oh, yes. You'll want to get that sandwich-sized baggie ready. Just lay it on the table for now.
Now for the main dish. It's what you'll be placing on the second slice of bread.
Oh, yes. You might want to open the can over the sink. Pull the tab carefully lest you spray the oil across the room.
Is the can open? Good. Now remove the little fish one at a time and lay them on the mayo-covered bread. Now gently slap the two slices of bread together.
Is there anything more delicious than a sardine, mayo, lettuce and tomato sandwich, on squaw bread, with a side of chips, and a glass of vanilla soy milk?
Oh, yes. The little sandwich bag. That's for depositing the empty, rinsed, sardine can and cover. That way your spouse/partner will never smell what they missed.
Bon Appetit!