Is Ari Noonan really Floyd of the old Andy Griffith television show?

For those old enough to remember or fortunate enough to see reruns of the old Andy Griffith show about life in the fictitious town of Mayberry, you will recall the town barber, Floyd, the fount and source of all rumor and innuendo leading to the hilarity that ensued. 

Our own Ari Noonan is much like Floyd. 

Some of his facts are correct enough to escape obvious notice, but his embellishments often blemish or obscure important information. 

If taken with a proverbial grain of salt, there is humor to be found.

If taken as a journalistic report, buyer beware.

In his Wednesday article “Budget Cuts Coming, School Board Is Reaching for an Axe,” Mr. Noonan wrote that I addressed the School Board regarding cutting health benefits for Board members.

This is a complete fabrication of the Floyd variety. 

A review of the Board meeting that will be broadcast tonight on the community access cable station will find me addressing the School Board, presenting Community  Budget Advisory Committee’s  process and tentative prioritization for recommended cuts. 

In my statements I mentioned that the last time the Committee was called upon to make budget cut recommendations, the Board at that time appeared to disregard the  Committee’s  recommendations and made decisions with entirely different priorities. 

This time we look forward to the Board adopting its own advisory committee recommendations. 

Additionally, I referenced that the  Committee will meet next Wednesday to once again review new information and recommendations resulting in a final report thereafter. 

There was no specific reference to any item past, present or future within the recommendations.

Ari Noonan, shame on you for using my name to promote your yellow journalism.

You have been beating the same drum for a number of years.

Now you knowingly and falsely print words ascribed to me that I did not utter. 

This is not the conduct or writing of an honest reporter, it is not the conduct of an honest person.

It is clearly not kosher and no true mensch would stoop to such behavior.

Floyd, er, Ari…don’t lie!

Ari Noonan comments: Mr. Elmont is a lovely gentleman. He possesses numerous admirable qualities, chief among them being dedication and loyalty. He works hard.  He earns a nice living. He is raising a fine family. He drives, we are told, a handsome car.

As perhaps Culver City’s leading schools activist, Mr. Elmont brings a luminous personality and a storehouse bulging with knowledge to every School Board meeting.

Towering over all of his qualities is unquenchable passion.

As we fellow passion-shleppers know, sometimes, to our detriment, our zeal spills over the capacity of our tank.

This appears to be the case with Mr.  Elmont’s present criticism.

I have lived long enough to commit a passel of errors.  I own a divorce history to justify the assertion.

However, our record for drop-dead accuracy with this newspaper ranks with the best in journalism in proportionately and precisely reporting the news. 

Mr. Elmont and two persons who attended Tuesday night’s School Board meeting relayed his statements to me for the  Feb. 13 story (to be found in the News category) that Mr. Elmont cites.

This morning, my sources re-verified their accuracy.