Dateline Jerusalem – More than 40 years ago when I was a student at UCLA, I took a folklore class. My term paper was on “old wives' tales. Having become very familiar with Jewish bubbe meises from my grandmother, may she rest in peace, I used her stories as the basis for the paper. I contacted people of other races, religions, ethnicity, and age groups to make comparisons between Jewish old wives' tales and those of others. Since moving to Israel, I have had the opportunity to meet people from all over the world. Many customs are similar, some with unique twists. My grandmother never knew the reasons for the things she did. She said they were passed down from her grandparents to her parents to my mother and to me. I since have learned that not everything was a superstition. Some make a lot of sense. Subconsciously, I follow in my grandmother's footsteps.
Right Day, Wrong Day
When I moved to my new apartment a few months ago, I had a terrible time figuring out where to place my bed in relation to the other furniture. Having lived through earthquakes in California, I did not want my bed under or near a window. I never had my bed face the door before moving here. Since the best location for my bed was facing the door, suddenly I no longer was relying on my subconscious to guide me. Luckily my neighbors reminded me my feet should not be facing the door because when people died, traditionally they were carried out feet first. How could I forget this bubbe meise? This is not exclusively a Jewish old wives' tale. Avoiding this coffin position is considered by those who follow Feng Shui.
My grandmother always told me never to sew something when someone is wearing the garment because it would “sew up their brains.” She said it in Yiddish, “mir zollen nit farnayed der saychel.” She was right. I have lost my common sense after years of repairing buttons and hems on the clothes I was wearing. The real reason for this old wives' tale is because burial shrouds are sewn around the dead before they are buried. Therefore, a little twist to this bubbe meise is to chew on a thread because dead people cannot still be chewing. In Israel, people are not buried in coffins/caskets as they are in the United States. It is customary to carry the deceased on a stretcher until he/she is placed in the grave. Because Judaism is concerned that the body returns to the earth as soon as possible, caskets are usually not used here. However, it is permissible to be buried in a coffin as long as it is a plain wooden one with holes in the bottom and no metal fittings so that the body can come into contact with the earth faster. If used, it must be a plain wooden one so there is no distinction between rich and poor because according to Jewish law, we are all equal. It makes sense today because of the exorbitant costs in burying the dead. Jewish burial is supposed to be inexpensive, not burdensome on families. There is no cost to be buried in the local cemetery where one lives.
The True History
In Israel, not a day goes by without hearing “pooh, pooh, pooh” with an accompanying spit three times. I always heard my grandmother say it. I thought it was uniquely hers. Since I have learned that Jews have performed this ritual for centuries when seeing, hearing, or learning something bad, or when trying to prevent something bad from happening when seeing, hearing or learning something good. It kind of goes along with the automatic “bli ayin hara” (“without the evil eye”) or “kennahara” (the abbreviated way of “no evil eye”), Hebrew and Yiddish versions of protecting against the evil eye. The evil eye, however, is not just Jewish or Israeli. Other cultures in the Middle East seem to be obsessed with this as well.
The only unique bubbe meise of my grandmother was her insistence at not looking directly at her father-in-law when she was pregnant with her children. He had a big nose. She wanted her children to have nice small noses. She believed that by looking at something unpleasant it would cause her unborn child to develop that trait. She avoided looking at my great-grandfather. My grandmother's superstition enabled me to be blessed with a small upturned nose. Of course, I actually inherited my nose from my grandmother's mother.
Some other traditions, superstitions, old wives' talescommon with Jewish families include never buying anything for a baby before it is born. In Israel, and in religious Jewish homes, baby showers are given after the birth of the baby, not before. One bubbe meise my grandmother taught me and which I followed to the letter was not to step over my children if they were lying on the floor unless I walked back over them. Otherwise, the child would not grow anymore.
Whenever I moved I would make sure I had a broom, salt, sugar, and bread. When I moved to my new apartment, I had the moving company come on a Tuesday because that is an auspicious day to move.
In my family, bubbe meises seems to skip a generation. They were part of my grandmother's daily life and now mine. But my mother never followed any of my grandmother's traditions, except she was adamant about not having a baby shower before children were born. My children do not adhere to these bubbe meises except for one. They will give tzedakah (charity) to someone going on a trip or flying somewhere to ensure the traveler's safety. The traveler becomes a “shaliach mitzvah” and donates the money when he/she arrives at the destination. This Jewish custom is practiced by most people in Israel, whether or not they are religious.
L'hitraot. Shachar