Despite the hard-marching, screaming efforts of unemployed liberals to cure bigotry and war, these ugly outcomes will be with us as long as two or more people inhabit our planet.

Worse, liberals seem to specialize in overtly, unashamedly promoting fake bigotry. Their motto: If bias is not obvious, create it.

Today we start with Mr. Ferdy Fussbudget, the meddlesome Mayor Eric Garcetti. At the most recent glance, he brought an empty wallet to the table. Now in his early 40s, F. Fussbudget is not known by his parents, wife, occasional child and circle of yes-folk to possess even a feathery core belief. He believes in beliefs, if only he could think of one.

His mind, his “philosophy” of life, condensed into a single term is “Whatever.”

The joke two years ago on the campaign trail was that F. Fussbudget was a native of whatever group he was addressing, Indians, Jews, blacks, Christians, gays, Koreans, socialists, dreamers, do-gooders and especially interventionists.

Since contemporary fire departments have few fires to combat these much safer days, the boys have ample time for harmful mind games.

When the Los Angeles Fire Dept. last hired in March, nepotism was rampant, and F. Fussbudget said he could relate to that. He vowed to fix the good ol’ boys problem. Plainly it needed remedial efforts. The department has lost hundreds of personnel in recent times, we are told, via budget cuts and attrition.

A loony sociologist decided that LAFD would feel all better with an influx of women and minorities. Affirmative action. Reverse racism. But, hey, baby, makes leftists feel better. That is the express reason God put us on earth.

One quarter of the 70 newest firefighters were related to in-place firemen.

As the poisonously partisan Los Angeles Titanic grimly reported yesterday, “the group’s makeup was overwhelmingly white and included only one woman.”

I have news for these modern-day racists. My family is overwhelmingly (though not exclusively) white, and when I have married, it has been to only one woman.

Not even a committed, typically unmarried, unfulfilled leftist could make a racist concoction out of that.

Who writes this jailhouse humor for Hizzoner?

Under the new Ferdy Fussbudget rules for the Los Angeles Fire Dept., the city will accept applications starting July 22 and for several days thereafter. All applicants will be entered in a lottery, and a limited number will be allowed to start the qualifying process.

The next time I set fire to a garage, remind me to count the number of girls and non-white men before I allow them to start the dousing process.

Ugh.