Should You Vote for Wendy Because She Is Not a Man?

Ari L. NoonanEditor's Essays

According to the freshest polling, Los Angeles City Attorney challenger Mike Feuer (35 to 24) and City Controller contender Dennis Zine (33 to 18) hold  safe leads going into Tuesday’s election, leaving the mayor’s race as the last citywide office packing perspiration drama.

The flaky Daily News – surely it was a joke – tried to tilt the final score toward Wendy Greuel this morning in its lead editorial, headlined, “Why gender has a place in mayor’s race.”

Intriguing. For serious people, how could that be so?

It figured that Windy Wendy’s campaign mantra, Vote for Me Because I Am a Girl, would find an open-mouthed sucker to take a dive for her ruse.

The lady (naturally) in charge of the Daily News opinion page, one Mariel Garza, flounced around the Editorial Room in her neatly pressed schoolgirl skirt and failed to come within a mile of supporting her underweight thesis.

Ms. Garza tumbled directly onto her proboscis without scoring a single point, without offering one potent argument.

Typically for her, the editorial was crammed with emotions that nearly were smothered by victim chatter. Ms. Garza once again was the vulnerable little girl sitting at the curb weeping because her ice cream cone had melted onto her new ruined party dress.

Her tantrum felt like a junior high exercise.

Ms. Garza’s opening sally was so soft it would have made a burly he-man blush.

Tantalizingly, she asks, “Is it OK to vote for Greuel because she is a woman?”

A fair proposition – with a response that she did not extract from an intelligent part of her body.

“Yes, it is,” she begins, breathlessly. “…(T)here is nothing wrong with leaning toward the woman and thereby leaning toward making L.A. government more representative of  all of the people it serves. To some, this will sound like reverse discrimination,” and then she allows that pregnant concept to lie untouched on a messy floor.

Ms. Garza makes the reader whiff for good with her clinching contention:

You guys in the other gender boast about the first Mexican mayor of Los Angeles and the first black President. Why can’t our woebegotten side have something?

Ms. Garza’s crooked, emotion-based, granular reasoning is why girls were not allowed into smoke-filled rooms.

Before dashing away from her rose-flavored desk to resume knitting a thimble, she serves what is intended to be her intellectually clinching claim:

“Women who do pursue politics tend to do it well.”

Who could differ?

She plainly never has attended a ranting Hillary, Barbs Boxer, Diane Watson, Patty Murray, Nancy Pelosi, Elizabeth Warren, Marcia Fudge, Slapsy Maxie Waters press conference.

Ms. Garza, girls who do try to craft editorials on subjects that baffle them do not tend to be clear, much less effective.