[img]1|left|Ari Noonan||no_popup[/img]Drat the foul turn of good fortune.

Just at a time when I was developing a strong fondness, a genuine affinity, for Assemblymember Holly J. Mitchell (D-Culver City), she dives into a vast vat of soggy bologna.

Disappointing.

An astute woman, as we reported two weeks ago, she has fallen for the phony plastic bag agitprop.

Put her hands together and dived in.

Last Friday, Ms. Mitchell screened a film, appropriately called “Bag It,” at West Los Angeles College for true believers and other humorless types with gaping patches of emptiness in their lives.

Hide the ladies and children.

Here comes the Plastic Bag Monster, illegitimate grandson of Cookie Monster.

The secular singles movement rides again.

If you listen to the bored unmarrieds who form the spine and the heart of the environmental community, if we don’t mend our evil ways and turn over our lives to the god of anti-plasticity, pretty pastiches of plastic are going to eat us before the next wave of Muslim terrorists swoops in.

Cartoon programs are proof that children will believe anything outrageous, and the environmental movement is the adult version of cartoons.

This is like a 20-year-old soberly trying to convince you that the Easter Bunny shleps gifts to all good boys and girls of the world.

The modern Left is about feeling good about saving us yahoos from the boogy guys only they can see with their special Caption Video glasses. When you don’t have much going on in your life, a plastic bag can be a cool toy to kill time until the next Meditation Without Munchies from Menchies meeting.

It gives the Left welcome chills to hoist raggedy plastic bags in their unbusy hands and say, stonefaced, “Here is the greatest threat to woman- and mankind.” And they wonder why normal people don’t take their blathering seriously.

Next time you are alone, dear reader, ponder the 75 or 80 commandments of the environmental movement. I doubt you will uncover one that is titter-free.

Give your self a break, boys and girls of the environmental movement. Get married. Nudge your consumptive passion for self-adoration away from yourself for a few minutes.

There really is a lovely world, including plastic bags, waiting out there for you.