Please do not invite state Sen. Mark Ridley-Thomas (D-New York) and state Assemblywoman Karen Bass (D-New Hampshire) to next January’s celebration.

They were embarrassing ornaments who briefly detracted from an otherwise stellar show. As their best friends know, neither requires an outside nudge when it comes to embarrassing himself or herself.

I presume both of them are in Sacramento because no one in Southern California would hire them. They only visit Culver City when they are in a mood to slum. Or when they are to receive a thimble-sized honor from a misguided organization.

It is an unfunny joke from the unfunny State Legislature that these boobs were assigned to represent Culver City. They don’t. No interest. No commitment here. Not anymore than New York Congressman Jerry Nadler does.

The “awards” Sen. Ridley-Thomas and Assemblywoman Bass were obliged to present to the producer Orlando Bagwell on Sunday were bogus, worth one of those plastic toys found at the bottom of a Cracker Jacks box. If I were Mr. Bagwell, I would have said, “No, thanks. You keep it.”

Let us be clear. The time-wasting appearances by the senator and the assemblywoman were not entirely their fault. They were acting as good guys. They were doing a favor for a friend in proffering “awards” to Mr. Bagwell that no self-respecting 6-year-old would accept.

Give It the Gas, Charlie

In the un-immortal words that the normally eloquent Sen. Ridley-Thomas uttered to Mr. Bagwell, “I simply came by to offer a Certificate of Recognition.” Accent was on the second word. (Did you notice the senator left his engine running?)

I was going to suggest that if organizers felt a compelling need to invite Sen. Ridley-Thomas and Assemblywoman Bass, they could have engaged Mr. Bagwell — and the impressive Avery Clayton — in a round-table talk about racial progress in the last 40 years.

But the two boobs from Sacramento would have spoiled the party. Both have built their careers on bean-counting victim searches. Between them, the Viceroy of Victimhood and the Viscountess of Victimhood could identify enough dreamed-up victims in this part of Southern California to re-populate the moon and two other planets. Neither believes in personal responsibility, only in victimology.

I changed sox this morning, a cue for Sen. Ridley (I Am So, So Restless) Thomas to change jobs again.

By George, he is running. This time it is against Bernie Parks for Yvonne Brathwaite Burke’s Cemetery Seat on the Board of County (Bet You Can’t Find Us) Supervisors.

Running comes naturally to the Viceroy of Victimhood.

He is still running to find his niche in life. He ran from the Los Angeles City Council to the State Assembly to the state Senate, and now to everybody’s favorite retirement home, the Board of Supervisors.

As an incurable job-hopper, isn’t it ironic that Sen. Ridley-Thomas — who knows how to put the arm on union leaders for what creative people call “grants” — runs one of those mysterious groups that fast-talking liberal politicians seem to “found” for vague-sounding purposes?

A Religious Fastball?

Sen. Ridley-Thomas pitches himself to his incurious loyalists as a latter-day Dr. King. No stranger to pitching religion as if it were a bag full of baseballs, he promises to save all of God’s people in two categories in his district —all of God’s people who think like him and all of God’s people who look like him.

The rest of us can pound sand.

Fittingly, the senator has organized a shadowy network of noble-sounding groups. All have the not randomly chosen name “Empowerment” in them — as in, I am your savior, a well-connected politician who can empower you to become strong.

Think slimy. Think sticky.

This ain’t Sister Teresa, Inc.

Dressing up Culver City, Ridley-Thomas-Style

The declared mission: “To engage residents in local politics and educate them about the work of government,” says the Los Angeles Times.

Surely friends, you have seen the dozens of red, white and blue “Let Sen. Ridley-Thomas Empower You” kiosks strategically spotted around Culver City.

Ooops. Sorry. Culver City is not on Sen. Feelgood’s itinerary.

Sen. Ridley-Thomas’s Empowerment Congress smells like one of those watch-pocket-sized pots of gold that politicians like to wave in front of simple-minded voters while discouraging inspection by nosy journalists.

Specificity Is the Enemy

My dear liberal friends hate to be pinned down to exact definition and precision of mission even more than they dread being investigated. Place the good senator into that capacious box. “Let’s some of us feel good,” is one of the good senator’s mottos.

In a medium-warm, but tantalizing, probe last month, the Los Angeles Times reported a suspicious cloud over the good senator’s calculating head.

After more than 25 years around — here is where we clear our throats — “community organizations” — the good senator knows how to maximize these enterprises of which we should be vigilant.

Utensil Time — As in Forking Over

The good senator, it seems, has been out — clear your throats again — “fundraising” for his Empowerment Congress.

The good senator is almost too busy to sleep. He is supposed to be running his state Senate seat. On the side, he is trying to raise at least $1.5 million to beat Mr. Parks in the Supervisorial race. On another side, he is raising gaping amounts for his smoke-filled Empowerment plum. No wonder he doesn’t have time to visit Culver City.

Maybe when the lights were out, when antennae were turned off and when everyone was looking in another direction, Sen. Feelgood, according to the Times, convinced several major corporate players to fork over $200,000 in the past year. All were earmarked for his Empowerment piggy bank. I presume Sen. Feelgood brings his favorite skateboard to these holdup-style sessions in corporate offices, the better to get away before anyone realizes he has been fleeced.

Culver City, I Love You?

Amidst his myriad of duties — such as sensitively safeguarding the daily welfare of Culver City’s 22,000 or so registered voters — Sen. Feelgood has time to put his hands on the arm or the throat of corporations for what purpose?

He says the “donations” were needed to expand Empowerment, which will allow him to “raise the civic IQ” in South Central.

It is vague enough and sounds sufficiently noble to keep the feds at bay. Just do not ask Sen. Feelgood to submit to a lie detector test.