[img]1|left|Ari Noonan||no_popup[/img]To those of us who sometimes deplore peace, as when two shifty-eyed liberals are spraying bullets at each other, the fight between the nasty, low-class backers of school-funding Prop. 30 and the slightly less bad people backing the rival Prop.38 at the All Wrong Corral is delicious dessert.

The state establishment backing Prop. 30 as if their mistresses depended on it – labor unions and other lifetime crooks – cuddle in one corner with Gov. Flat Tire, their hero.

In the other corner is activist/lawyer Molly Munger, deemed slightly more pure because if her scheme or scam on 38 works, money supposedly goes directly from taxpayers to school districts.

(Discerning liberals don’t mention that like, shh, Mitt Romney, she, too, is really, really rich. Unlike Mr. Romney, she didn’t work for much of it. Shhh. Who said rich is bad? Ah, not I. Shhh. Not if the person is politically correct. Shhh.)

If you believe that, join all the Easter Bunnies of the world in my kitchen tonight at midnight. If we are late, start anyway.

Bye, Bye, Cruel World

What happens if serious voters finally say no to both?

Will all schools douse their politically correct light bulbs, slam the books shut and send millions of children into the countryside to learn to operate tractors and bale hay the way their ancestors did?

I am sure that is the only reasonable solution in case of a double defeat. Aren’t you?

The willful ignorance, deception, lying and morally corrupt mind of Gov. Flat Tire is at the vortex of this conundrum, the 100 percent cause.

It will be sweet to see him lying on a griddle, frying a handsome bright red if 30 and 38 both burn to death.

As a man of maximum minimum standards, Gov. Tire has gone up and down the state swearing to us – while looking the dead dog in the corner in the eye – that life will stop for all California students and teachers if his precious, sneakily obtained and dishonestly devised ballot measure executes a belly flop.

Funding for all schools will halt, he says through glassy eyes.

Administrators will just have to learn how to survive on a relative nickel a day until eternity.

Meanwhile, out of view in the back room, his boys will continue to play heartily, unabated.

The fattest cats in the land, the underworked, fundamentally slippery 120 state legislators will resume their hourly drunken spending sprees on pet social justice causes that may not even exist.

The first parent in Culver City who believes Gov. Tire is serious probably should be tested.

This is an unending game that will continue as long as uninformed taxpayers devote more attention to soccer scores than the slimy games in Sacramento.