For Democratic sissies and other members of the uninformed class, a bevy of gleaming trumpets should sound joyously across Culver City neighborhoods this morning.
Last night, one of our (?) own, Karen (I Feel So, So Darned Entitled) Bass, was elected Speaker of the Assembly.
On the prestige scale, this is the equivalent of being elected fourth vice-president in the second grade. Or fifth vice president of the Bus Riders Union.
She succeeds the leading Mexican crook in the Legislature, Fabian Nunez, last seen bouncing on his head down Culver Boulevard, the latest and most deserving Sacramento victim of term limits.
Fast-Fading Fabian may look funny bouncing down the street on his noggin, but at least he passed through Culver City.
Ms. Bass does not soil our streets. She finds better places to spend her well-wasted time than the community she is supposed to represent.
Give Me a Title or I Shall Cry
If the title-chasing, decidedly unaccomplished Ms. Bass has meant more than an incivil burp for Culver City during her dreary two-plus terms in the Assembly, it was done anonymously.
And believe me, Ms. Bass ain’t the type to do anonymous.
Her ego won’t let her.
As a huffily entitled sissy Democrat, Ms. Bass has thrown away otherwise productive years touting the cause of people handicapped by allergies.
Mainly, she loves stealing money from good people and transferring it into the deep pocketbooks of those who are allergic to working for a living.
Once She Was Worthwhile
Ms. Bass used to be an honest woman, contributing to society. She was working honorably as a physician assistant at County-USC Hospital 18 years ago when she decided to become a liberal do-gooder, which is the worst kind.
She started “the Community Coalition,” a sufficiently vague but noble sounding enterprise.
The Community Coalition was one of those gauzy organizations that liberals rave about. But they don’t get specific because they don’t like to look too closely for fear of what they will find.
The silliness of liberals, such as Ms. Bass, sadly never seems to bottom out. They are so good at organizing high-sounding collections of shleppers, then forming committees so they can talk themselves to sleep.
Her Halcyon Days
Back in her honest days, Ms. Bass said that she tired of seeing black druggies and drug traffickers checking into County-USC, and she resolved to do something about it.
She told a newspaper about her motivation.
“The prevailing view (in 1990),” she said, “was to throw the book at anyone having to do with drug trafficking. I became convinced that was all backwards, that we really had to focus on changing public policy to give inner city youth more job opportunities and better education opportunities so that they wouldn’t have to resort to the drug trade. So I gathered up like-minded people at (a) conference (I put on), and together we started this coalition.”
And what, praytell, Ms. Bass, an interviewer asked, was your biggest achievement?
You make the call, dear reader, on the worthiness of her answer.
How Can We Fool the Masses?
Liberals are known as sissies for the way they have corrupted the English language.
They are, for example, scared to death of Arab terrorists.
Only conservatives call Arab terrorists by their true name.
Flabby liberal journalists call the Arabs who are terrorizing the Middle East and the rest of the sensible world “militants” because “militant” sounds so cuddly.
“Militant” is a blatantly dishonest, sissy term introduced in the early 1990s by The New York Times and copied by all of their imitators.
The title-hungry Ms. Bass is Vice Chair of the Legislative Black Caucus. As a loudmouthed member of the sissy Democratic crowd, she preaches to the unwashed that by golly whillickers “we are all one.” Naturally, she does not mean that. If she did, what in the world is this disingenuous woman doing waving the flag of the separatist “Legislative Black Caucus”?
Finally, here is how Ms. Bass quite manipulatively answered the question of the Community Coalition’s biggest achievement:
“After the 1992 ‘civil unrest,’ we campaigned against the re-opening of liquor stores (in South Central). Out of the more than 200 liquor stores that burned down, only about 50 ever re-opened. Another 45 sites were turned into other businesses.”
As a member of the Black Caucus, the sissy-like Ms. Bass can’t bring herself to pronounce “riots” instead of the phony feel-good euphemism “civil unrest.”
But when your job is fooling people, sometimes you forget when to be honest.
And did you know that the 200 liquor stores, the largest chunk, we are told, Asian-owned, just happened to accidentally burn down at the same time?
Golly whillickers, what a fabulous coincidence. Murgatroyd, call Mr. Ripley.
You see, Ms. Bass constantly betrays her supposedly holy mission. She can’t make herself say that hoodlums in South Central — whom she proposes to canonize — rioted and burned down hundreds of business.
Oh, how she hates assigning personal responsibility.
Victims by the Barrel-ful
Being a loyal lib, Ms. Bass is a tireless crusader for the odious racial and gender creed of Victimology. “We are victims,” she cries out, like one of those scammers at a freeway off-ramp. “We are lazy, but please feel sorry for us.”
Oh, she should be a doozy as the Speaker of the Assembly for the next two years, until she is mercifully term-limited.
The only question is: Is this pathetic woman is an upgrade or a dropoff from the Mexican crook?