Re “Malsin Accuses City Hall of Miscalculations”

The surest way an amateur essayist reveals his lack of experience and separates himself from professionals is to make his point and make his point and make his point and make his point — until the reader turns ashen.

Lacking confidence in his ability to persuade, he will hammer away at his theme, uncertain whether you have heard him the first 10 times.

Without request, he will raise his voice so it will float above the tallest mountains.

He pounds so unrelentingly at the helpless reader’s poor, thumping head until the best garage in town could not repair the dents the writer has caused.

Is This a Coincidence?

It is no coincidence that City Councilman Scott Malsin’s first printed — and disappointingly misleading — lecture to his City Hall colleagues last week and his second one this week were virtually identical in length — 673 words to 667 — because they were exactly the same in content.

Mr. Malsin’s most egregious violation, however, is to be dishonest with his audience. He refuses to tell them that when he is raving on, ad nauseum, about “valuable senior city workers,” he meant himself.

He has used more than 1,300 words in two sternly complaining essays about the alleged wrongheadedness of his City Council colleagues without ever telling the poor-sap readers hey, me, too, me, too. I am praising me as well as them.

Unless the poor-sap reader finds Mr. Malsin’s widely distributed Me-Too Essay in this newspaper, Mr. Poor Sap ain’t gonna know that when the Councilman talks about “valuable,” “dedicated,” “committed” senior city workers in an astounding 8 different places, those are all pronouns for Mr. Me-Too.

His Motivation

He, too, stands to have his present benefits snatched away unless he leaves by Dec. 31. Coyly, he is not saying which course he will choose, though the betting is he will depart.

Even though many Culver City schoolchildren, by now, can recite Mr. Malsin’s position on healthcare benefits by rote, this is not going to stop the Councilman from pushing his third xeroxed essay next week at this time — praising police and fire veterans and all the people who make this a wonderful place to live — and don’t forget me, too.

If he had even hinted that he was talking about himself as well, one might be a tad more tolerant.

In honor of my dear dedicated friends in the environment movement — whether for clean air or foul air — perhaps Mr. Malsin could save a tree next week by passing on his third xeroxed edition of Here Is What I Believe About Engaged City Workers (I was so tempted, when he wrote “engaged” to mention married city workers).

And he was pedantic throughout the re-re-re-rewritten exercise. You don’t understand. Let me explain, slowly, loudly.

I have told you about my sportswriting days at the lamented Los Angeles Herald-Examiner, where we would write the story of wrestling results the afternoon before the matches were staged.

Same here with Mr. Malsin’s sincerely intended but profoundly misinformed and misdirected efforts.

He ain’t making friends on the Council or on any floor of City Hall.

This is a hometown demonstration of scorched earth tactics in technicolor, hardly the way to leave office after honorable service.