By darn, as an old coach of mine used to semi-curse. I wish I had been born a liberal. Then I would not have so darned many rules to live by. None, really.

Take our town’s ministers of muffled morality at the Los Angeles Titanic, known for its fastidious news selectivity and sterling sense of consistency.

Last week after the left was bombed into yesterday by voters, the Titanic fun-boys were prodding their fellow Democrats to scoot back to Washington in a fire-engine hurry. You have two months, the ministers said, to conduct serious lame-duck legislating before the dunderhead Republicans fly in, unpack and grimly take over both chambers of Congress, setting back our country to the Jimmy Crow days.

Legalize All Immigrants

Pass a comprehensive immigration bill that only President Obama and La Raza want. Push through the racist Loretta Lynch – Eric Holder in a skirt – as the next law-flaunting U.S. Attorney General, an embarrassment to normal Americans.

I wish God had made me a liberal. I could freely believe consistency is only a virtue when I say so. 

Days after demanding congressional leftists convert themselves into quacking lame ducks and pass all the left-wing legislation they can gargle and swallow, the ministers of mushy morality at the Titanic zinged the opposite message to the County Board of Supervisors.

Because their guys are the new Supes, the Titanic scolded the Board for almost-but-not-quite filling two critical openings – executive director of the Office of Child Protection and director of public health.

With ultra-liberal Sheila Kuehl and ultra-dumb Hilda (I Am a Door Knob) Solis joining the Board at the start of December, the Titanic wants the new loony branch to have a voice.

Ms. Kuehl will be the face of the gay community, whatever the extremists desire. Ms. Solis will…oh, it would take too long to explain.