His Racism Is Made of Sterling Silver

Ari L. NoonanEditor's Essays

Thank you, God, for giving liberal racists to us – such as comedians over at the National Assn. for the Advancement of Colored (are you kidding?) People – to sprinkle fairy-dust particles of humor into our drab daily lives.

It all depends, kids, on who is calling whom “colored.”

Racist hypocrites of the NAACP, who should be wearing the masks of favored by Muslim terrorists in the Middle East, worked up perfumed arrogance this morning to stage a press conference over at Westfield. Before the camera lights flicked on, they carefully reviewed their scripts of selective outrage.

These dumber-than-doorknobs liberals – too ignorant to be embarrassed — said they were shocked – shocked, I tell you – to learn over the weekend that Donald Sterling, owner of the Los Angeles Clippers, had made racist remarks over the telephone to his girlfriend.

The main mavens of the NAACP, who have pledged to stand watch over the welfare of “colored” people, said it was a darned shame Mr. Sterling’s caustic observations were revealed now. Couldn’t the media have waited?

By golly, the I Am a Genius Committee of the NAACP has been warming up to present Mr. Sterling with its – harrumph, harrumph – Lifetime Achievement award at a dinner in mid-May.

This would have been a second for Mr. Sterling.

Five years ago, after Mr. Sterling had been fined $2.7 million for being a slumlord – caught discriminating against what the NAACP calls “colored” people and Hispanics in the Los Angeles County buildings he owns – the NAACP showed us peasants how clearly they think and plan.  The NAACP’s I Am a Genius Committee chose to confer upon the sterling silver head of Mr. Sterling, aspiring racist, its coveted Lifetime Achievement award for the first time.

Next month’s dinner was intended to entertain the dimmer among us.

As for the molasses-minded players on the Clippers – cover your ears when they are interviewed in what passes for English – the best and the brightest fellas don’t have time to read the newspapers and track the fascinating exploits and commentaries of Mr. Sterling. That is, those who can read. They are too busy doing drugs, and cheating on both their wives and their girlfriends to undertake a task as mundane as reading while cashing checks for $15 million and $20 million.

Oh, Murgatroyd, the shame of it all.

Three years before Mr. Sterling’s 2009 conviction for practicing slumlordism in the119 buildings he owns, the Justice Dept. suspected he was executing reverse affirmative action.

The juvenile behavior of Clippers players before yesterday’s playoff game was purely playing to the crowd and was unrelated to their own selective convictions.

Why aren’t any of the liberal racists crying crocodile tears over the aging Mr. Sterling’s overt cheating on his humiliated wife Shelly?

When is racism hypocritically acceptable? Glad you asked.

When a left-wing corporation such as the Los Angeles Titanic scolds Mr. Sterling with its left hand while grubbily accepting his daily and weekly advertising dollars – for decades – with the other. Tut-tut, boys.