Attn., School Guys:

I wish to shock you.

For the next few minutes, I will demonstrate that you have been embarrassingly wrong for the last five years in foolishly attempting to outlaw bullying on campuses.

Dudes and dudettes – This is awesome, man, cooler than legalized marijuana, slicker than racial protests or anti-fracking rallies, steamier than street-clogging demonstrations in favor of a bulgingly hiked minimum wage for the most unambitious, unqualified workers in Los Angeles.

Bullying, baby, is the rage again, and that is how one of America’s tiniest sub-cultures flexed its electronic muscles and made gay marriage – a historic anomaly – the law of most of the land, even though in the land of the free, most votes have been against it.

Thank God for bullying, eh, pal?

Sorry, I forget to attach a crucial qualifying phrase: Bullying, baby, is the rage only – underscore only – when executed by leftists. It is legal for radical leftists to impose their will on us. It is grossly illegal for conservatives to impose its morality on our country.

What is the difference? Bullying, baby. It is so coolly fashionable. If you disagree with the gay dictators, you are a bigot, your reputation publicly disfigured for the rest of your days.

But There Are So Few

You would not know it by reading America’s most liberal newspapers, but there are barely enough gay boys and girls in our country to fill out a standard football team.

Resourceful, as gays have needed to be since the Garden of Eden or whatever you believe to be Opening Day for civilization, they were forced to transform themselves into bullies to get their way – odious as that posture was to one or two of them.

Using the massive left-wing media of America as their human shields, gay boys and girls have spent the past dozen years bullying journalists – who were pushovers – and politicians, who were whatever is three steps beneath a pushover.

With 99 percent of American universities’ law professors, and 90 percent of the balance of faculties, all but three influential print journalists and all but one television channel – the bullies pile up victories to the highest cloud.

Suddenly, you wake up on a sparkling morning in October – 5775 years from creation, as we Jews count — to learn that the amoeba-sized gay demographic has bullied the freest, the most enlightened country in the annals of the planet into a whimpering collection of defeatists.

Gays have shifted 5775 years of civilization into extreme reverse gear – extreme because what was a non-issue for 5775 years now is the law, and if you disagree, you are a shameful bigot.

This could take some getting used to – sort of like getting married all over again.