[img]96|left|Shachar||no_popup[/img]Dateline Jerusalem — In Israel, everything seems to be the opposite. English is read and written from left to right, but Hebrew is read and written from right to left. In the U.S., the number for the information operator is 4-1-1. In Israel, it is 1-4-4. The word for “hello” is the same as its opposite word, “goodbye.” Both are “shalom,” which is also the word for “peace.”

Sometimes it even makes sense to ask for the opposite of something you want because you always get something that you don't want here in Israel. For example, I called the information operator, spoke to a real person in English, and I asked for the telephone number in English after explaining that I did not understand Hebrew. The operator then connected me to a recorded message of the phone number. But it was not in English, nor was it in Hebrew. It was in Arabic!

When I got my cell phone, I also asked that directions for how to use the phone, as well as all information sent to me, be in English. Now whenever the cell phone company sends me messages, they are not in English, nor in Hebrew, but in Russian!

Wait a Minute

Often when I ask for someone who speaks English, I am told that no one speaks the language, although it is taught as a “second language” in all Israeli schools. I then try to speak Hebrew and of course no one can understand me. Because my Hebrew is so bad, these same individuals who tell me they do not speak English will all of a sudden automatically tell me, in English, that it would be better if I communicate with them in English!

A friend of mine went to one of the well-known private language centers in town to find out about the cost of English tutoring and what the course entails. The friend is fluent in both Hebrew and English. The person in charge indicated that grammar was stressed in the course. My friend did not understand the person's pronunciation of the word “grammar” and asked for a spelling of it. The person in charge wrote “gremer.” Again, my friend did not know that word and asked one of the teachers for the meaning of “gremer.” That teacher told the person in charge, “You spelled it wrong. It should be gramer.” And that school charges thousands of dollars to teach Israelis English!

Almost everywhere you go in Israel, English words are spelled incorrectly, whether on signs, on menus or websites. In fact, often all four corners of an intersection have the name of the street spelled differently in English. I have seen this on road signs as well. Street and road signs are written in Hebrew, Arabic and English, but information is usually printed in Hebrew and Russian.

I once noticed English words misspelled on a friend's business website. I offered to help edit and correct the spelling so that the website would be more professional looking since it was trying to cater to American clientele. That “friend” was insulted and no longer speaks to me. I have checked the website recently. The words are still misspelled.

But no matter what the spelling, the grammar, the pronunciation, the vocabulary or the language, in Israel it does not matter. Somehow we are able to communicate with each other.

L'hitraot. Shachar