[img]560|left|Nicholas D. Pollak|remove link|no_popup[/img]It is a terrible thing when you have to let go someone you have known for 14 years go. My gardener. Why? He doesn’t show up for his regularly scheduled day to do our garden. Worse, he doesn’t even call.

I feel bad for him because he is a nice guy who works hard. But as an employer, I insist on you show up when you are supposed to or call and explain. This poor guy has had his equipment stolen four times in two years, which does not speak well of the area he chooses to live in.

I do not enjoy negative confrontation. So I had to steel myself to tell him what needed to be said. Of course he was upset and regretted his errors. One can accept errors, though, for so long, until you run out of patience. That is where my wife and I were.

The situation reminded me of how tough it is in this economy and how awful it must be for management when they know that they have to let some of their staff go.

I recall the story of a man who had worked for a company 15 years when he was called upstairs to be told he was being laid off. Nothing was wrong with his work. He was well liked. Budgetary restrictions were such, though, that the company had to lay off workers. The four managers in charge expected a hostile reaction. They were surprised when he said he understood. He talked about how difficult it must be for all of them to sleep at night, knowing they had to lay off people.

Surprise Lies Ahead

Several days later one of the managers called to see how he was doing. “Without a doubt,” the manager said, “you are the nicest person we ever had to let go. We appreciate that you understood what was going on for us. No one else did.”

He was not allowed to work for the company for 30 days – to allow his name to clear from the system. After that, because of the way he had conducted himself, he was called back on a daily hire basis, unlike others who had been hostile when terminated.

You shouldn’t burn your bridges. In this case, the man not only did not burn bridges, he created a new one, which allowed management to see his positive nature. Amazingly, the amount of work he receives is more than before. Since he is on a daily- hire basis, he is earning more than before and doing well. I understand this is an unusual situation, but it illustrates how your behavior in any circumstance can dictate further results, good or bad.

I have heard stories of people who became hostile when they were let go by a company, and they have had difficulty gaining references for their next jobs

The famous Chinese general Sun Tzu said, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” There is a lot of wisdom to this. I wonder, though, at the kind of world where we must spend our life appearing to like people we don’t like at all.

Being laid off is a huge shock, financially and emotionally. Suddenly the people you have come to know are no longer there. When they don’t see you daily, they forget about you. Now you are in a situation where you have no colleagues to talk to, no income, forcing you to reevaluate who you are, what you do and where to find meaningful employment. For any of you who have undergone this trauma, I empathize with your situation.

These May Help

It is not my intent to offer job-finding advice other than the following:

• When laid off, be calm and understanding.

• Make sure you receive all that is due you financially.

• Apply for unemployment benefits as fast as you can.

• Prepare a resumé highlighting your skills and personality.

• Use all tools at your disposal to find alternative employment.

It is understood that sometimes bad things can happen to good people, but I encourage you to maintain a positive outlook. Being positive is the one thing prospective employers look for. Maintain your inner positivity. It will create opportunities you otherwise may not receive. It is true that when you think positively, good things will happen. People can see it in you.

Remember that your mind always will give you what you ask for, so if you want to be depressed your mind will oblige. When you want to be positive, focused, goal- oriented, your mind will give you that as well.

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me by telephone, 310.204.3321, or by email at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net. See my website at www.hypnotherapy4you.net