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Wishing You Happy Presidents Day from Beautiful Downtown Bulgaria

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Too Much Idle Time

These leftist ladies and gentlemen who regard “working families” as their core constituency, concluded years ago that, by darn, “working families” had too many free days in February.

How can a “working family” appreciate what a swell country we live in if the “workers” in the families are handed two days off from the factory within a 10-day period?

Boosting ‘Working Families’

Wouldn’t their corrupt labor unions be losing precious money if their human cargo were allowed to lollygag twice within a week and a half?

This is a workers’ paradise, isn’t it?

In the name of fairness to all, especially “working families,” fun-loving American leftists, thinking for the rest of us, as usual, decided that what the American worker needed most badly was — boffo — another working day.

A Little Dough, Mama

Recalling the way your dear mother used to prepare pie crusts when you were a kid, fun-loving American leftists took the Lincoln Birthday in their left hand and the Washington Birthday in their right hand.

Drawing their arms back as far as they would bend, they suddenly reversed directions, slamming together their two hands as hard as they could without shaking their fingers loose.

Who Are These Funny Faces?

After the crash, the faces of the two great Presidents were so disfigured that one looked like George Washington Carver and the other resembled Lincoln Chaffee.

Since our fun-loving leftist friends believe not only in equality for all but in egalitarianism for all, you roll the two faces together, and the result is Presidents Day.

A mish-mosh, you say?

Silly boy.

That is the point.

I Pledge What?

According to Chapter 1 of the Gospel According to Fun-Loving American Leftists, ain’t no difference between or among a Muslim terrorist, a Hispanic illegal, Billy Barty or Anna Nicole Frankenstein.

Don’t accept my word. Look to a maven on the subject.

Wind back your clock to the luminous Sunday afternoon of Jan. 14 at the Senior Center.

What Did P.T. Barnum Say?

The first half of the Martin Luther King Day celebration was warming up. In honor of the fact that organizers chose to focus a heavy spotlight on Islam, one Shakeel Syed, the Executive Director of the Islamic Shura Council, thrilled the crowd with what I would have thought would have been a risky statement.

After explaining how he fled to this country in the early 1980s, Mr. Syed’s visage clouded and darkened.

He was about to make a seminal philosophical point.

Seizing What Was Available

Summoning the most critical words available to him in English, Mr. Syed launched into a stern reprimand. He spoke blazingly of the presence of the American military in the Middle East and of the Washington policy that put the troops of his “adopted” land where he did not think they belonged.

If the audience was so slow it still was not assembling his few but fiery clues into a coherent mosaic, Mr. Syed took one more hard swing.

Ride ‘em, Cowboy

As if he were positing that the flag is red, white and blue or that Boy Scouts are honorable, Mr. Syed declared — for the benefit of dummies in the crowd, like me — that an American life was not worth one drop more than anyone else’s. Mr. Syed probably could be pardoned for not knowing better.

To become a citizen — if he is a citizen — he may just have been subjected to the “yes, sir-no, sir” test for citizenship.

“Do you want to be an American?” “Yes, sir.” “Presto, you are an American.”

He, Me, Thee, We Are Alike

See, as the leftist man said, all of us are alike in this soapy-clean, but deadly, world of egalitarianism.

Fillmore, Tyler and Lincoln were all Presidents, weren’t they?

No differences, either, between illegals and terrorists on one side, and normal, valid Americans on the other.

Just ask the Bank of America.

Just ask Mayor William Shakespeare Villaraigosa?

Is the answer si? Or oui? Or stick ‘em up?