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Says Mr. Noonan, on the Right: ‘My Good Liberal Friend Has the Debate Backward’…

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Almost Over

Until recently, the shop seemed doomed to fall under the sledgehammer of redevelopment.

The store has been in roughly the same location for almost 30 years.

Big, it isn’t.

Two employees.

The owner is a vulnerable person we will discuss in a moment.

What’s to Worry?

At the obviously safe hour of 4 in the afternoon, dozens of persons were milling around in front of this business — as dozens do every afternoon except Sunday.

If you live in Culver City, you remember what the reluctantly retired Police Chief Ted Cooke used to tell us. Culver City is the safest community this side of heaven.

An Aberration

If there is that rare crime, obviously the dirty deed was engineered by evil persons passing through, low-beam sorts who misread their maps and accidentally ended up in Culver City.

The neighborhood I speak of is so safe you would allow a young child to leave your car and walk alone to a business nearby.

At the same 4 o’clock hour, according to Lt. Ron Iizuka of the Police Dept., two young black men strode into the low-key, long-established, totally relaxed, unsuspecting business.

What They Looked Like

The men, one about 30, the other about 25, showed they knew how to blend into the crowd.

One was a 6-footer, the other several inches shorter. Both were outfitted in sweatshirts and jeans, the uniform of the day for probably 5,000 young men in Culver City, Pacific Palisades, Compton, Santa Monica.

Who would notice?

Drunk with power, the two men strolled inside as if they were the new owners. Only the new owners would not have drawn a gun as these fellows did.

Reactions Identical

The two employees were on duty. One has long experience in retail, the other much less. Made no difference to their reactions.

They froze. Terrified.

Remember, if you look out the appears as if half there. Ordinary, working-class people of all ages.

Who would notice. The cold, drunk-on-power criminals astutely made certain no one would do more than glance at them.

They Memorized the Routine

They moved fast, quietly, frighteningly. After emptying the cash register, they robbed the two petrified employees.

One worker begged for the thieves to return a precious key from her purse so she could pick up her child from school. The $5 in the pocketbook, they could keep because they obviously needed it.

In a few minutes, the crime was over,and the workers were much older.

The owner is scared and paralyzed. Slightly built, he is in middle age.

A Solo Shift

As with all small businesses, sometimes he minds the store alone, not because he is a workaholic at his age, but it conserves money.

He was afraid this morning when we spoke as he was last week when his workers related their nightmare.

A safe, family-oriented, middle-class neighborhood, he does not want to leave.

Wrong Product

Were his product something like an accounting business, he could lock himself inside. But with his service business, the public streams in and out throughout the day.

He pleaded not to have his business called by name for fear it would reflect on his customer flow.

Still, he feels vulnerable when he stands alone in the store, as if he were a target.

No Conclusion Yet

That his his story, without a tidy, bow-neat ending.

When the ending does come, the owner hopes it is on his terms, not someone else’s.

There, Mr. Sisa, is the body of my argument with the vociferous anti-gun lobby.

Whether you ban guns tomorrow or severely restrict public access to guns next week, sir — fearing that every few years in a country of 300 million, one oddball will rampage — you fully miss, or avoid, the point.

Repeat, Repeat

Criminals, sir, always will have access.

Do you believe that if you outlaw guns this week, criminals, en masse, will under go a miraculous conversion into normal, moral beings?

Do you seriously believe, sir, that criminals, in unison, will cry out,

“Darned, I can’t wield a gun anymore. Guns are not legal. Darn.”

Logical to Sensible Conservatives

Isn’t it counter-intuitive, even to liberals, that banning guns or sharply tightening gun laws will take them out of the hands of victims while criminals will sail along unperturbed?

Isn’t that reasoning clearer than one-plus-one?

Usually, you can spot a liberal in a crowd. He is the one wringing his hands. Yes, he just won the lottery. Yes, his wife just gave birth to beautiful triplets. Yes, his new environmentally sound car gets 98 miles to the gallon. Yes, he was on the brink of selling his one-person business to Rupert Murdoch for so much money ol’ Rupert had to float a loan.

Returning to Dreary Reality

Then he remembered what he was doing when he learned of his lottery triumph. He was leading a protest because he believes “Bush Lied (Don’t Slow Me up with Facts) and People Died.” He becomes irretrievably depressed because somewhere in the world there probably is a victim he should be marching for.

Isn’t it intuitive that if criminals know guns have been banned, they will be likelier to attack? Yes? Supportive data is readily available.

The debate is so fundamental. If guns are restricted or outlawed, only criminals will have them.

Yeah, Sure, Prevent Slaughter

And no, my good friend, there was no way to prevent Virginia Tech any more than President Bush could have prevented Sept. 11.

Whether there were 42 guns or 420 million floating about the country.

It is, to repeat myself, the wrong argument.

Next case, please.