The Man Who Wasnt There
As if Del Rey were the ugliest girl in town, it was unprofessionally stood up.
The way cities across Los Angeles County are every week by high-profile political boobs who dine daily on obscenely piled plates of platitudes.
Journalistically, this is tantamount to promising thefrontpageonline.com, but substituting the Culver City Observer or the Culver City News.
The dishonest stiffs in Del Rey were 3 camera-kissing elected officials, 2 boobs and 1 boobette. They live to have awestruck peasants lick their constantly shined shoes.
Let Us Not Exaggerate
This dark, scolding mood started at last Monday nights City Council meeting when the ninnie-minded wadded up and pitched to a bored audience one silly proclamation too many.
A proclamation for Womens History Month.
How about one for Women with More Than 2 Knees?
A man who can present a proclamation for Womens History Month with a straight face is my superior in self-control.
I expect that at next Wednesdays re-scheduled Council meeting one of the flickering bulbs will troll for a Council vote on the Boar War.
Whats Your Name?
At the Mayors Luncheon yesterday honoring Gary Silbiger, when Mr. Fulwood, the emcee, was introducing dignitaries in the crowd, he mentioned a hapless boob from the office of state Sen. Mark Ridley-Thomas and an equally unlucky flunky from Gov. Schwarzeneggers staff.
Why?
Why were they invited?
Worse, why did they show up?
Why didnt they hang, instead, at the Jackson Market?
Or they could have watched the creaking walls peel at Brotman.
Hide-and-Seek, Boys?
Better, they could have watched the extremely undignified leadership of Brotman do their Ted Cooke imitation under paint-peeling desks.
Occasionally, the leaders even squirmed to avoid touring rodents.
As one who deals regularly with Democrats, I am on a nickname basis with empty gestures.
How About Watching Grass Grow?
Sen. Ridley-Thomas is a nice man who should be too busy to write down empty gestures.
In the tradition of Sacramento, Arnolds office ubiquitously dispenses field deputies to lunches for men whose aunts are thinking about retiring.
A great honor, this aint.
Who is anyone trying to impress? You or me?
A Tad Discriminatory, Arent We?
When you are a publicity hog, a prostitute for praise, as County Supervisor Yvonne Brathwaite Burke and Los Angeles City Councilman Bill Rosendahl are, and you are invited to a community meeting you cant attend, flaunt your imagination.
Be honest.
Dont dispatch a pimply-faced proxy who has less authority, less prestige, less fun than my dying parrot.
Be pragmatic.
Something Fishy Here
Send a tuna sandwich.
That way, one person in the audience will go away satisfied.
Community meetings are attended by serious people. Usually they are burdened with seemingly insoluble dilemmas.
Flat-faced, rabbit-eared flunkies serve the same purpose as a peanut shell does for a starving man.
Sometimes I Am Available
Ah, but when Councilman Boob and Supervisor Boobette are going to be honored, my golly Ned, that is different.
Miraculously, they throw away their candy canes.
They shoo away their Alzheimers, rip up their previously unbreakable itineraries, pronounce themselves healed, un-busy and eminently available at any hour for the next plaque from K-Mart.
Go Away, Kid
Demonstrating how sneaky smart they are, the Councilman and the Supervisor fooled the guileless residents of Del Rey one more time last night by telling them to get lost.
