Get Some Sleep — I’ll See You at 5:20 Monday Morning

As if the present conundrum were a rubik’s cube that churns along below the speed limit down the highway in my mind, I ask:

How could a young man as gifted, as cerebral as Mr. Sisa invest his considerable mind in the fluffy world of political pastry, liberalism, where feelings trumped reasoning decades ago, before he was born?

They Think with What?

If you are serious about life, why would you choose to consort with an intellectual underclass, people who spurn the normal apparatus and “think” with their tongues?

This is tantamount to taking the funny papers and running off to a desert island. Liberals, who mean well, would rather be shrill than right, which is why Democrats lose 2 of every 3 Presidential elections. Which is why liberals charge that 2 of every 3 Presidential elections is fixed. Childlike, they refuse to believe that voters, swimming already in liberal tears over the latest victims du jour in American society, cannot comprehend the obvious veracity of their arguments?

It’s Howdy Victim Time

For today’s glowing illustration of my remarks, I refer you to Mr. Sisa’s splendidly carved review of a stage play in Santa Ana in the adjoining next column. The first hint lies in the headline. Here come the victims. Duck, friends.

Somebody’s Children, which plays through Saturday night, is one of those stage productions that inerrantly appeals to a liberal’s sweet tooth, which is called buck teeth in the heads of sensible people. The play gives the slightly tilted playwright a chance to air out his victim vocabulary. My goodness. That is like serving a liberal two whole chocolate cakes back to back with a resuscitator standing by.

The Game Is Called ‘I Hate’

As I learned during a brief flirtation with liberalism in the 1980s at a certain university, a liberal must acknowledge two obsessions in order to be embraced by his peers:

The rich and the poor.

Both are equal-weighted curses on humanity.

Liberals divide the world into not quite equal halves, victims and oppressors. You are with us or against us, liberal shills taught long before President Bush came to the White House.

I think you would need to ingest drugs to repeat this liberal tautology with a straight face in public:

The poor of the world, by golly, are impoverished because the greedyrich (one word in a liberal’s mind) gobbled up all the money before any could dribble down to the beggars. The rich should give their wealth to the poor because, by golly, the poor, by golly, have suffered enough and the well-to-do have not.

It’s Funny but Not to Them

Don’t laugh. Listen to the Democratic presidential contenders. Variations on this theme form the spine of every candidate’s campaign.

At least 5 mornings out of 7, the major (liberal) newspapers of the country wail about the huge salary gap between the rich and the poor. How can you have socialism without fiscal egalitarianism, they ask?

Standing on the Corner

I intend to do my share to make the world more appealing to our buck-toothed liberals. All of my liberal pals, who are envious of the rich, please note:

At 5:20 Monday morning, for 60 minutes, I will be standing at the southwest corner of Main Street and Venice Boulevard. I will hand out dollar bills to all who ask.