Too many liberals roaming the neighborhood.
A substitute program has been lined up to warm the icy hearts of every little liberal out there in Newspaperland who has intimacy problems.
Don’t Get Personal
(In trying to be good persons,90 percent of our liberal friends suffer from delusions of grandiosity.
(As a culture, liberals are not interested in saving Boy Scout Pack 79 or Mabel Johnson’s home from city-ordered bulldozers. Too small. How would it look on their resumes? They think big. Allergic to thinking personally, they are not interested in curbing social problems in their neighborhoods. Too small.
(The whole planet is their oyster. They only want to rescue the earth. Less is a turnoff. Culver City? Insignificant.)
No Competition
With granite-strong assurance, I can tell you the retirees who will turn out for — and swallow the message of — the substitute meeting never would be caught dead at a prayer meeting.
That would be too right wing for such “progressive” “thinkers.”
I digress. In honor of liberal true believers, who, in the recent past, have energetically subscribed to such noble strategies as End World Poverty by Thursday and End World Homelessness by Sunday, Pacific Palisades is staging a corker of a show.
Here Is the Pitch
At 2 o’clock Wednesday at the monthly meeting of the retirees who comprise the Palisades AARP club, a gentleman described as an “Al Gore environmental trainee” will be the featured speaker. This signal meeting will be held within the confines of the Palisades’ Women’s Club, 901 Haverford Ave. A laugh track probably will not be provided. (I presume the Sons of the Desert meeting rooms in North Hollywood were unavailable.)
The meeting is free. It is open to the public and to the hungry, since refreshments will be offered.
Any Stand-ins Available?
I don’t think I can be there. Hopefully, though, Leno and Letterman will FedEx several writers down Sunset Boulevard to the Women’s Club to jot down the worthiest lines.
Global warming is chasing us all to the graveyard, by the minute, we are told. If we don’t join our illegal alien friends and vote for Dennis Kucinich next year, the producers will make “Shrek the Fourth.”
As for Wednesday’s speaker, David Fried is a Pacific Palisades investment advisor who prefers to be known as a “concerned capitalist.”
A Little Royalty, Please
I prefer to be known as The King, but that does not make me one.
Aren’t “concerned capitalists” the same little liberals who were spraying the ridicule a few years ago when apocalyptic religious believers were predicting the imminent end of the world?
I see, something happened?
Poor Baby Has the Mumps
A penguin caught the mumps in Alaska. Now all of us who don’t live on the moon and don’t watch “The Sopranos” are doomed because — well, you don’t need evidence, liberals say, when you are shlepping the truth.
It seems, according to the Palisadian-Post, Mr. Fried was one of 1,000 diverse people selected by Al Gore last November to train to convert into little Al Gore missionaries to the global warming-resistant world, the sensible people.
Mr. Fried flew to Nashville early this year and was trained by scientists — presumably to say, on command, “Global warming is coming, and we are all doomed.”
This Is a Prediction?
The Palisadian-Post said that Mr. Fried has warned that the Palisades could look “dramatically different” 70 years from now.
I have news for this professional doom-and-gloomer.
You don’t have to be seduced by the shrill, typically emotional crowd of little liberal global warming junkies to realize this is not a risky proposition.
Who Will Age Faster?
I guarantee Mr. Fried, the “concerned capitalist,” that both he and I will look “dramatically different” in 70 years, too.
The only difference is, he still will be waiting for the next global warming attack — probably from outer space.
