Dont Giggle Too Hard
Even the NAACP cant keep a straight face about its mission these days. No longer is it Captain Marvel for black people. No, sir. It is spiffy and up-to-date. It now subscribes to the silly doctrine of multi-culturalism. It advertises itself as the defender of rights for all ethnic minorities. Blacks, take a number and stand in the queue.
Jewish Version of the NAACP
In Jewish life, the equally long outdated Anti-Defamation League is the corollary to the NAACP. They dont know when to quit. Egotistical to the sky, they refuse to admit they have egregiously exceeded their mandate.
Turn out the lights, boys and girls.
Its over.
Go home. Shoo.
Brew some tea. Stir a cup of aging-peoples soup with 3 strands of blue hair.
The Rest of the Formula
Wrap your self in a gaudy, itchy, wool Indian blanket to ward off the inevitable chills. Retrieve a copy of a 1915 newspaper.
Park yourself under a flickering 60-watt bulb, and read away your days.
Put on a 78 rpm John Phillips Souza record. That will make you feel back in the day.
Historically, organizations never have known when to quietly crawl into a coffin and draw the lid after themselves.
How can I be less important than I used to be? You must be mistaken.
Do You Feel the Chill, Too?
Just as the global-warming crowd emerged because secular progressives needed an apocalyptic corollary to balance off the traditional religious beliefs of the sensible people on the right, the NAACP wheezes along today because of a similar inherent human condition.
Too many self-important people have invested too much of their otherwise hollow lives to voluntarily surrender the periodic adoration they receive.
The NAACP is as outdated as Jim Crow laws.
As Current as Yesterday
Since the 1970s, in truth, the NAACP has been headed for an empty corner at The Home, reserved especially for Reluctantly Deflated Formerly Important People.
What have you done for me lately? Nothing that is apparent, let alone obvious.
Useless organizations such as the ADL and the NAACP should be allowed to operate in the public right-of-way only if the men will be forced to drive no automobile newer than a 1911 model and the lady members are restricted to wearing floor-length, kelly-green gingham dresses.
The NAACP is not unique.
Lets Laud Each Other Again
In the pasty-smelling, dust-laden universe where oldtime organizations hang out, the heaving sound of creaky members breathing drowns out their voices.
Please, please turn out the lights.
They endure, though, because they live their lives in insulation, associating only with like persons.
Only One Kind of Member
The NAACP and the ADL are jammed with politically-correct cartoon figures on their aging roster.
Loyal members fear independent thinking. They have been told for years what to believe, what to say, and they have been good little soldiers.
So tell me, pal, how can these puppets call themselves politically-correct and still belong to an organization labeled Colored People? This term has not been acceptable since the early 1960s.
End of the Gordon Era
Which brings me to the revelatory resignation the other day of the latest president of the NAACP, Bruce Gordon.
Mr. Gordons abrupt, raw departure exposed, even for the resistant, the truth about the NAACP.
Before the 61-year-old career businessman was hired a year and a half ago, the NAACP had only hired flap-a-doodle hacks to be president. The job description called for the gentlemen to resemble mushy cakes of pie dough. They should be willing to be easily and frequently molded into the organizations not-too-serious-please image of the day.
Mr. Gordon is a product of the disciplined world of no-nonsense corporate culture, not a yahoo like the Rev. Jackson who must own the worlds largest and least imaginative sign-of-the-hour business.
The NAACP hacks, who have made careers out of congratulating each other and presenting each other with inflated awards for years, resisted the stiffer Gordon style.
Oldtimers Resisted Discipline
At his farewell, the Associated Press reported, Mr. Gordon said he wanted to focus more on finding practical solutions to black Americas problems.
The emotionally invested, self-perpetuating hacks of the NAACP talked back.
They said they had clashed throughout Mr. Gordons 19 months because they sought a different emphasis, something vague to match their lack of ambition.
These professional victims hide out under a funny-sounding umbrella term that justifies the existence of boobs from sea to shining sea, social justice. They favor any philosophy that cannot be proved. That is the key.
By contrast, Mr. Gordon was pursuing drop-dead, demonstrable, bottom-line resolutions.
Order? Discipline? Clean books? Not here, pal. Our hack drummer plays a different tune.
Lessons in Victimology
The Professional Victim Society, the most powerful wing of the NAACP, retreated in horror at Mr. Gordons demand for accountability. We cant be accountable, they told Mr. Gordon. We are victims.
These victims have maintained credibility within the NAACP by occasionally identifying other victims in society.
This has guaranteed them employment for life. Find a Victim, Keep Your Job. That is the mantra of the Professional Victim Society.
What Does It Matter?
Since the NAACP is as relevant to the nation as the Brotherhood of Hoboes in Hoboken, the leaders are searching today for someone not too sharp who will let them play patty-cake again.
