[img]1325|left|Alex Campbell ||no_popup[/img]Dateline Boston — At the Lincoln Pak Zoo in Chicago, one feels as though one has stepped back in time. When H and I entered the big cat house, I felt like I was visiting a zoo from the 1960s. The cats were in cages with concrete walls that were painted to look like the outdoors. The blue sky and green grass did nothing to appease the cat who was pacing back and forth restlessly. It made me so sad.
[img]1531|left|||no_popup[/img]We quickly moved on to the monkey house. There, we witnessed a father instructing his approximately 10-year-old son to tap on the glass to get a monkey’s attention. He wanted his son to take a picture of him when the monkey got all riled up. Nice role model, Dad. Ugh.
We went to the gorilla outdoor area. Whenever I see an outdoor gorilla enclosure, all I can think about is the story of Little Joe, the gorilla who jumped the moat at the Boston Zoo a few years ago. He escaped, hurting a few people, and was eventually caught at a bus stop. True story.
H and I decided that gorillas could jump the setup at the Lincoln Park Zoo. Perhaps they had; there were no apes to be seen when we were there. All we saw was a little wild bunny, eating grass and hopping around the rocks. Tap-on-the-glass Dad came and stood next to us. He said, “Huh, there’s no gorillas in here.” I couldn’t help myself. I said, “Well, there’s the rabbit gorilla…” He said, “What? Oh…” I think he gave me a dirty look. I might have smirked. We didn’t see that dad anymore after that. I was thankful.
Turns out the gorillas were all inside. There was one in a hammock, eating a stalk of celery, two sitting on the floor chilling out, and one big male gorilla using a stick to get at liquid food from a tube that was installed in the wall. He sat right up against the glass. Since he was in such close proximity, a very enthusiastic woman kept putting her hand on the glass, saying, “High five! Give me a high five!” When the busy and uninterested gorilla didn’t give her a high five, she walked away, saying, “Well, I guess he ‘s not into it.” Readers, I am not making up this stuff. I had to stop myself from saying, “No, lady, what that gorilla would really like to do is play ‘crack your head open like a coconut’ because he’s bored out of his mind and trapped in a cage!” This time, I kept my lip zipped.
We saw a fennec fox get traumatized. We heard a female keeper try to coax the fox to her. It was curious, so it would go towards her, but then back away, skittishly. Finally, a male keeper came out. Well, that fox went crazy! The poor thing was whimpering, and it started to dig in the sand furiously. Finally, it surrendered and lay flat on the ground. The male keeper scooped it up to take it who knows where, to the clinic or something. The fox must have known.
We heard lots of misinformation given to kids by their parents. Looking at a lion with no mane: “Look, there he is!” It was a female. “Look at the alligator!” It was a caiman. “Look, there’s a baby monkey!” It was a different species of monkey, full grown.
Finally, we’d had enough. We beat it out of there, hoping to have more positive experiences for the second half of the day. Fortunately, we did. We ended our day with a real Chicago hot dog and a view of Chicago from Willis Tower. We felt safe, no police showed up, and no animals were teased or traumatized. If you go to Chicago, I don’t recommend the zoo. Unless you like bunnies.
Ms. Vaillancourt may be contacted at snobbyblog@gmail.com
