A 51-year-old male called recently because he is experiencing premature ejaculation. Could hypnotherapy help? He had undergone many different types of treatment, and all to no avail. Since nothing had worked, he was convinced it was in his head.
Sex experts tend to say premature ejaculation is caused by early conditioning — the man's early, rushed (perhaps furtive) sexual experiences had to be quick to avoid detection. This conditions him to climax as quickly as possible. There is validity to an extent to that theory. We learn our behaviors between birth and 12 years of age. Obviously sex under the age of 12 is not that common (or should not be). From 14 onward, there are going to be fast sexual experiences since neither juvenile wants to be caught. That can train someone to ejaculate swiftly..
In certain cases, premature ejaculation can be inherited, passed down from father to son. Some believe stress plays a big factor. A small amount of alcohol will relax some men, eliminate jitters.
Here are ideas that may help:
Improve matters by distraction techniques, turning your mind elsewhere when climax is near. Or pinch yourself.
German scientists have a slightly different approach that will not cause vaginal irritation. Called the Long Love Condom, it contains a local anesthetic (benzocaine or lidocaine) inside it. Long love condoms are sold in many countries under a variety of brand names. Clients have told me it works, They last longer, , but the man is still at risk of a sensitivity reaction to a local anesthetic.
Masters and Johnson came up with a method that seems to be the gold standard.
The finger-grip abolishes the desire to climax. If, under careful instruction, the couple uses it over a period of weeks, they can usually re-train the man to last much longer. Please note the cure cannot be achieved overnight.
• At each training session, your partner places her hand so that her thumb is on one side of the man's erect penis (the nearer side to her when she is facing him).
• Her index and middle fingers are on the other side.
• The index finger is just above the ridge of the glans (the head), while the middle finger is just below the ridge.
• When the man feels near to a climax, he tells his partner.
• She squeezes him firmly between her thumb and the other two fingers.
The program and the grip can work for male couples as well as for heterosexual ones.
Another method is cognitive therapy, using a stop/start technique:
1. The man is encouraged to masturbate alone.
2. He is asked to set time aside to be private and to masturbate with dry hands.
3. The man is encouraged to masturbate almost to the point of ejaculation, then stop.
4. He should do this three times.
5. On the fourth time, he is permitted to ejaculate.
After he has achieved this measure of control, he can try masturbating with a wet hand, which will feel more like the inside of a vagina. He is encouraged to do the stop-start technique as before.
Obviously, this technique could be adopted by a man who does not seek treatment from a therapist.
But because there are often mental difficulties as well as behavioral and mechanical ones, most men will benefit more from seeking hypnotherapeutic treatment rather than using the stop-start technique on their own.
These techniques combined with deep hypnosis and visualizations of successfully holding back their ejaculation are usually enough to assist the client to resolve his problem.
Do not hesitate to contact me by telephone, 310.204.3321, or by email at nickpollak@hypnotherapy4you.net. See my website at www.hypnotherapy4you.net
