Like the good kings of yesteryear, Swish (You Only Need to Drop to One Knee) Obama is blessed with an obsequiously cooperative media that will not criticize him unless he deigns to give permission.
Because of a record number of failed policies, Swishy’s re-election campaign is skidding deeper into perspiration mode.
Not for nothing has he starred in nearly 100 expensive fundraisers exclusively for America’s wealthier citizens, whom Swishy virulently criticizes when the backs of their wallets are turned.
Even liberals know that when you are in trouble, you reach for Old Reliables. In Swishy’s case, that means starting with your favorite choristers in the media.
Help, I Need an Emergency
Last Thursday, while Swishy’s poll numbers were swimming with the fishies on the ocean floor, our favorite racist, U.S. Atty. Gen. E.T. Holder, pressed the “Down” button on an Old Reliable probe the Obama administration has been sitting on.
E.T. assured Swishy his boys would extract it from deep inside must drawers at the right strategic moment to boost his sagging re-election moment.
Just as Swishy and E.T. planned it — at the end of a tough week when Swishy and the liberals were being panned for softly surrendering again to Republicans in Congress — the two connivers uncreatively pulled a hole card from their deck.
Burbling like a man with wifely permission to go on a two-month bender, Tommy Perez, an assistant to E.T., announced to the breathless, salivating media boys that by gum our crack Justice Dept. has produced an accusation [?] against the best-known sheriff in the United States.
Mind you, it is a merely a finger Justice is shaking at Arizona’s colorful Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, where more than half of the state’s population lives.
The Washington-style bluster and bologna that followed was stronger than a Florida hurricane at high tide and stinkier than twins’ diapers.
You Don’t Say?
Justice issued a 22-page report saying that Sheriff Joe discriminates against Latino illegals and other Latino lawbreakers. Except Mr. Perez forgot to add the last five words. Adopting the sloppiness Justice has become known for, he said that Sheriff Joe is discriminating against Latinos, and by thunder, he’d better stop or Justice will ask him to return his Captain Video ring.
Swishy, like the untrained political pup he is, has squirted another mess on the floor.
My gosh I am shocked. Sheriff Joe has been on every English language television channel in the ‘90s and oh-ohs, boasting about how he repels sneaky illegal aliens. Our country has cheered him.
Most American newspaper readers know Sheriff Joe is one of the most unorthodox lawmen in our country — and brags about it. A hopeless 79-year-old self-promoter — which could qualify him for the City Council in our town, since filing opened this morning — Sheriff Joe has been bragging about his humiliating tactics against illegal aliens throughout the 19 years he has been in office. The idea is to discourage the punks.
The news about Sheriff Joe must be a little slow leaking into the left-wing enclaves of Washington, where self-effacement is in no danger of staging a comeback.
Every member of the Culver City Police Dept. — where Chief Don Pedersen is an expert at fending off baby rebellions (or is that rebellions started by babies?) — can tell you a Sheriff Joe yarn and holds a stout opinion. Hopefully, the geniuses at Justice will not find out that Mr. Pedersen’s boys and girls also have been arresting people. Last P.D. report I saw said that the majority of them did not wear white skin. Did you hear that, E.T.?
Where has Justice been all my life? Their (clear your throat) pretty darned official-sounding bulletin said that Swishy’s handpicked bimbos have been conducting this investigation for three years — exactly the length of Swishy’s term in office. Hmm. Nothing suspicious there, Sherlock.
What a brain factory E.T. runs. It only took him and his left-wing mental mountains three years to deduce what normal people knew for two decades by merely strolling onto the porch and picking up the morning newspaper.
As E.T. and Mr. Perez predicted, the newsies ran to their PCs and pounded out stories, surprise, that made Page 1 the next day, in New York, Los Angeles, Washington and Phoenix.
The most influential house of hate in the country, The New York Times, nearly stopped breathing. Gasped the sinking left-wing newspaper : “The Justice Department’s findings are horrible but not surprising.”
Oh, yes, just the right amount of emotion and outrage, as E.T., Mr. Perez and Swishy knew they would.
And then the gullible patrons of the above-named newspapers went to sleep Friday night secure that Swishy, heroic defender of Hispanic civil rights (key Dem voter graphic), also is tirelessly fighting bad guys, especially conservative bad guys who arrest potential Democrat voters, just as Captain Marvel promised when he was elected. Not one contrary voice was allowed inside the lopsided fairy tale.
Another sure sign the racist Attorney General is in quicksand: His sycophants at the N.Y. Times rushed to his aide with another fawning Page 1 story, ignoring his lies to Congress and desultory racist charges.
The clincher in the story was when race-baiting E.T. said of his critics:
“This is a way to get at the President because of the way I can be identified with him, both due to the nature of our relationship and, you know, the fact that we’re both African Americans.”
One final note: E.T., who has broken the old Washington record for lying to Congress and uttering racist statements in recent months, was miles away at the time of the “announcement.” This way he would not play lightning rod again and detract from the real marketing focus of the orchestrated moment.
By golly, those smart boys think of everything.
