[img]1325|left|Alex Campbell ||no_popup[/img]Dateline Boston — I’m getting married in four weeks. The other night I had my first wedding anxiety dream, which I thought was pretty good, considering I hadn’t had one before that. In my dream, everything went wrong.
First, my wedding ambassador didn’t show up. In case you don’t know, a wedding ambassador is a person who has spent a lot of time with the couple, knows them really well. It’s the person who signs the marriage certificate. This was all made up by me in my subconscious state, of course, although I’ve been told this would be a great real job to have at a wedding. Sure, as long as the person shows up.
Next, I signed my marriage certificate wrong. I wrote half of one surname, half of another one. When I realized my mistake, the official waved it off, She said it didn’t really matter. It mattered to me, but she didn’t think it was important.
Finally, the cupcakes didn’t arrive. In the dream, my friends, who in real life are in charge of making the cupcake stands for our wedding, came in when the party was almost over. They brought giant hacked-off slices of cake, not cupcakes. They also brought in a lot of useless decorations, such as lavender Chinese food containers and sheets of plastic. People were wandering in a daze, and my friends were trying to set things up. Just as I was about to really lose it, I woke up.
I’ve actually been pretty relaxed over the past year about my wedding. I’m the farthest thing away from being a Bridezilla—as long as I show up with the rings and say my words, we’ll be fine. I guess my subconscious doesn’t think so. True, now that the important day is getting closer, I’m finalizing the details that are kind of important to me: How much will my custom- made fascinator cost? What are the available menu items for the out-of-state guests’ luncheon, and how much will that cost? What exactly will we say as our vows? Who’s buying the tablecloths? Will they match? And, oh yeah, how are those cupcake stands coming along? The day after my dream, I got right on the horn to that friend. He assured me he and his wife were on it, and were excited about the possibilities. Things are going well; I’m getting answers. Should be smooth sailing from here on out.
Last night I had a dream that I was running down a dark, deserted street, eventually being followed by a slow-moving car with bright headlights. Guess I’ve got some more kinks to work out after all.
Ms. Campbell may be contacted at snobbyblog@gmail.com
