[img]541|left|Carter Dewberry||no_popup[/img] It was his look, his grab-me-by-the shoulder-and-stare-into-my-soul glare, that woke me up.
That series of moments, before he let go and we both shook ourselves to regain equilibrium, spoke volumes, more than all the words of our 90-minute lunch combined.
For it was then I remembered why I am honored to call him my friend, this man who holds inside himself such a deep passion for life that it often threatens to break the buttons on his suit coat.
As an artist, I look for those who ignite, those who carry a fervor for life and all its madness deep within, whether they are fellow creatives, mortgage brokers or government employees. It is this desire to create, to pursue some not-yet-fully-understood life’s purpose that attracts me.
Today, his gaze illuminated why.
I have for the last week been berating myself for not being able to compose a masterwork on demand, something I am looking to write for my solo show in July.
I have created a self-imposed deadline that has completely stifled my creativity while simultaneously rousing my inner critics.
Visiting a Different World
In this process of mixing external results with the artistic process, I have forgotten my main creative gold mine – living in my full (and sometimes painful) expression. I have been so busy preparing the production for my show and promoting my upcoming album release that I have not taken the time to go “in,” which is a different world altogether.
Thanks to his wake up call, I am now faced with a choice.
To write this piece, which is for a film about a young girl whose mother is murdered and who is forced to go to great lengths to ensure her own survival, I may well need to travel to dark places and forget external commitments.
As a woman in love with her life (and on a deadline), choosing this journey seems unpleasant, or at the very least a bit immature.
At the same time, allowing myself to unequivocally embrace all expression deepens my appreciation for my art and my life, even when it requires short-term malfunction.
And so I prepare myself for the journey.
Ms. Dewberry, an accomplished cellist, completed her DMA in Chamber Music Performance from UCLA in December 2005. She received her MM in Cello Performance from UCLA in June 2002 and her B.M. in Cello Performance from Western Michigan University in April 1998. She also holds a B.A. in French with a minor in Women's Studies and Philosophy.
Her website is www.carterdewberry.com
She may be contacted at carter@carterdewberry.com
