You know how an eye-fluttering, hand-traveling teenage couple, rookie explorers in the land of puppy love, can edge toward obnoxity — especially if they are furtively hanging out in your home and you happen to share a surname with 50 percent of the No Love Ever Will Transcend Ours twosome.
Or you are at a party of slightly olders where the scene is repeatedly xeroxed for the slower watchers. Finally, some curmudgeon shouts, “Get a room.”
Annoyingly, I have had that sickening vision every day for the last two weeks.
What a Coincidence, Murgatroyd
This is exactly how long the wearing-thin-fast Bald Retread has darkened the governor’s chair following his inauguration.
The fortnight just happens to coincide with the brassy, amped-up billing and cooing the Los Angeles Titanic has committed in Bald’s direction, even though he is, ahem, a married man.
I say, “get a room, guys. Stop embarrassing serious readers who are seeking authentic news from Sacramento instead of watching you two boobs blowing bad-breath kisses toward each other.”
Ever since it began failing in ad revenue and circulation a few years ago, the Titanic has acted like a cheating husband. Once he was found out, he no longer cared. He paraded out in the open, bringing his girlfriend home for dinner instead of lying to his wife about his absence.
Reading the Titanic every morning is like riding across country with notorious Bob Mulholland, one of the most vulgar operatives in the Democrat Party.
You have not seen a fraudulent journalist in a politician’s rear-view pocket (think about that a moment) until you have read sloppy, love-flavored notes from Evan (Don’t Confuse Me with Heaven) Halper and his fellow distorters in the Titanic’s Sacramento bureau.
Sleazily, the Titanic has licked the Bald Retread’s cheeks, on the hour, ever since Gov. Moonbeam crawled out of a unionized rat hole last year and offered his faulty thinking apparatus as the Democrat candidate for governor. When Bald or his wife called Meg Whitman a dirty name, the Titanic lied and covered for him while consistently submarining his Republican opponent in its news stories.
Your Daily Dose
Consider this morning’s love letter about the Bald Retread from the Titanic’s reliably dishonest reporter, Evan I Need Halp(er).
His opening sentence reads:
“One of the hottest debates over Gov. Jerry Brown’s $84.6-billion budget involves a $1 billion corporate tax break that businesses promise will spur job growth but that independent analysts say actually gives California companies an incentive to expand out of state.”
Like virtually all purge-surviving Titanic reporters, Mr. Halper is encouraged to freely editorialize about his political ideology in his news stories. Unhesitatingly, you know in all of Heaven Halper’s stories the people and forces he hates and those he loves.
His report on the cover of the “LateExtra” section, headlined “Tax break may keep jobs away,” was a policy story, ordered to thump home and reinforce a political point to the knee-jerk left-wing true believers who dominate the readership.
Fair enough, except that when he sat down to compose the piece, the careless Heaven Halper resembled the cheating husband who ran away without his trousers.
His entire skinny premise was plugged into a single phrase, that the contention he makes in the opening sentence is valid because “independent analysts” say so.
But Heaven Halper snuffled and shuffled himself into such a passionate state while writing he left out the mysterious, non-existent “independent analysts.”
The only questionable example he cited was the “nonpartisan state Legislative Analysts’s Office.”
Ever since Swishie wandered into office two years ago next week, liberal journalists have fallen in love (there is that word again) with the suddenly fashionable concept of “nonpartisan.” It is as big of a lie, generally, as calling a midget a giant. A “nonpartisan” agency the last two years has meant a left-wing group able to slightly disguise its true affiliation. The names usually will tell you what you need to know.
The Legislative Analyst’s Office” is the state corollary to the also suddenly much-quoted Congressional Budget Office, which Democrats quote twice an hour.
Legislative analysts are as independent as dopey Sheriff Clarence Dupnik or Howard Dean or Swishie or Mad Michelle.
Legislative analysts are prisoners of the information handed them. They have bosses and limitations. They do not go out and venture into the bushes, seeking independent conformation. Democrats lied to the CBO about ObamaCare, and Democrats constantly quote the benefits, as described by the CBO, when there is overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
That may or may not be what happened on the issue Heaven Halper wrote about it. In a top of the page story, he made an assertion that he spectacularly failed to support.
Another significant reason why the Titanic is a journalistic enterprise in fading repute.
